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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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Tifu by shitting my pants … twice

Obligatory this didn’t happen today but a few days ago. Also sorry for formatting typed this on a phone. TLDR at the bottom cause it’s kind of long.

So my morning routine is I get up brush my teeth take a shower and drive to school (I’m fully vaccinated and my college requires a mask mandate). I do this everyday, sometimes I mix it up and take a dump before I take a shower. School was starting 30 minutes later so to compensate I put my alarm thirty minutes ahead and went to sleep. I woke up an hour before the alarm with the intense drive and determination to take a shit.

Shit counter: 1

You’ve probably heard of a mans man but the shit I took was a shits shit, there was simply put, a lot of shit in that toilet. It started off solid and halfway through turned into diarrhea. No worries this happened every once in a while, and I sometimes took shits in the mornings anyway. So I headed to the living room started some work and ten minutes later I took a dump.

Shit Counter: 2

Ten minutes after that I took a dump again.

Shit counter: 3

By this time school had started and I went to my first class. Luckily nothing went wrong listened to the professor lecture and class ended I had the sudden and overwhelming urge to sit on a toilet seat and as Elsa would say “Let it go”.

Shit counter: 4

Because of this most recent dump I was late to my next class. Brilliant that’s exactly what I wanted. Again things were the same and we got through the next class and break. I finally though that the shits had stopped. Until next class when I once again had to take an emergency break to take a shit.

Shit counter: 5

Things did not improve. We got through break and into the next class. I was sitting in my seat taking notes as the professor lectured, and then I had the sudden urge to fart. Well, ever had one of those farts that builds up in your butthole and you have to give a little squeeze to get it out? Well I got more then I asked for, the next moment I was sitting in a hot, sticky, and wet pile of diarrhea.

Shit counter: 6

So I sat in my seat trying to get comfortable and only a few minutes afterwards I had to take a dump again so I ran out of the classroom into the bathroom and relieved myself on the toilet seat.

Shit counter: 7

I cleaned up my now wet underwear got out of the toilet and turned around and looked at my ass in the mirror and saw a massive wet stain with the center being my butthole. I attempted to clean it with water but that siding help at all. So I pulled my shorts as high as they would go and pulled my shirt down as much as possible which hid the stain pretty well. Now the smell is what concerned me it wasn’t strong but you could definitely smell it and I still don’t know how people didn’t notice the smell.

I went back to class got into my row and finished class with no further incidents. Then another break. So, I was talking with my friends normal stuff. Now I assume my butthole had just gotten tired of constantly holding my shit in all day because it just gave out.

Shit counter: 8

See rather then sitting down I was now in a stand up position which meant that the hot gooey mess was now sliding down my leg. I ran to the bathroom and

Shit counter: 9

I once again repeated my procedure of cleaning and went back out to see my friends. They gave me confused looks but I made up having to really take a piss rather then telling them that I had just shat my pants. Break was over and on to my next class, where I’ll spare you the details but

Shit counter: 10

At this point things were getting ridiculous and school was almost over. So I called in sick for my next class (I explained to the teacher my diarrhea not, my shatting of the pants) and drove home. Now halfway I began to feel that familiar sensation of having to take a shit so I drove like a maniac to get home and took another

Shit counter: 11

After this I drove to the pharmacy bought diarrhea pills and took 4 of the pills which as it turned out was the max you were supposed to take in 24 hours. That fixed the diarrhea problem. I was finally happy free from continuously having to take dump’s finally! And then I didn’t shit for four days.

TLDR: Had diarrhea and had to take a shit 11 times in a day and two of those times I managed to shit my pants. (Or more accurately shorts)

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