Skip to main content

TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

TIFU by giving myself a splinter… with my own pubic hair.

Okay, I’m minding my business in the shower when I notice I could use a little groundskeeping at Mons Pubis, population 1,000,000 (and growing).

I luckily invested in a waterproof trimmer not too long ago and figured now’s as good a time as any to trim the hedges.

Buzz buzz motherfucker and what was once a teeming, overgrown city block is now a pristine community garden where folks won’t be afraid to stroll into and attempt planting some seeds (im not sorry for the innuendo).

Proud of my design and hygiene post trim, I finish the rest of my routine to get ready for bed. Cue the fuck up.

Post trim and post panty-application, I begin to feel the cotton on my shorter curly goods, and it begins to itch (like always, at first anyways!) So there I go, finger nails to the itchy sites and begin to scratch.

Sweet relief.

Until my finger… my pointer to be exact, began to sting IMMENSELY. OW OW OW and time to inspect the little sausage.

I run into the bathroom and find a single pubic hair launched into my fingerprint. A PUBIC HAIR. IN MY GOTDAMN FINGERPRINT.

All attempts at removal, including squeezing, tweezing, and freezing, have resulted in an even more painful (and bloody) finger. All from sharpening my pussy garden.

TL;DR: I trimmed my pubes which sharpened them causing one to splinter into my finger when I began to scratch.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU almost so bad by not unlogging from this Reddit account

I use this Reddit account to mod r/hearhimfuck , watch my porn and answer NSFWAMA when I feel like it. I religiously log off completely after every time because I don't want my partner or anyone knowing about this account. It's the holidays and we are all busy so I had a quick session with myself and ran to get a shower and leave for another family Christmas dinner. My phone stayed in my purse the whole evening. By the end there's 6 of us left and we're sitting in the living room, having mellow conversation. Pets are discussed and photos shown. Someone asks about my dogs so I go fetch my phone and sit back on the couch. As soon as I unlock it, there's a full blown ANAL clip playing. Fortunately, the sound was off. I manage to turn the sound all the way down and shut the app without anyone seeing. TLDR; Iwas THIS close from having hardcore porn blasting surrounded by my parents, my partner, an aunt and a two cousins. I can't imagine the aftermath of what could...

TIFU by fucking my coworker

Happened a couple of days ago, but yeah, as the title says... Oops... We've worked together for about a year now; we've always been friendly, but I never really clocked her as a potential romantic option; she's my coworker, she had a boyfriend when we started working together, and to be honest I just thought she was completely out of my league: I'm a schlub and she is gorgeous So when she texts me asking if we want to hang out after work, I genuinely thought nothing untoward would happen; I thought we were just going to chill and watch cartoons; and for a while we were just having a nice platonic hangout. But we got very drunk, and eventually she was giving me the bedroom eyes and saying we should make out. I very emphatically said that was a bad idea, but she kissed me anyway, and at that point I really lost any semblance of self-restraint.. I am not proud of myself, at all. I can tell myself that she came onto me, but ultimately I also comepletly let it happen. No...

TIFU by shopping on Amazon

So I have an Amazon account, and a family. Anyhow, the person I'm seeing likes to do things with me... try new things if you know what I mean 😏 Recently I've ordered a few packages with adult toys, swing, etc. And... clone a willy. It came in yesterday while I was out. While I was out I got a notification that the cloning kit came in. I sent my son a text asking him to bring my Amazon package in. He said he had already. I didn't think much of it. Until last night when I went to go... use it. I asked my son where the package was on my way out the door. He asked "The plant stand or the cloning kit?". Mind you, the boxes DO NOT say what the contents are, nor were they opened. He must have realized what he said because my face is a goddam story book. I just stood there silent and shocked. He pointed towards the closet. This has been going on for ages, but he has NEVER indicated knowing what's in the packages. So now my teenage son knows his mom is a freak. ...