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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by giving myself a splinter… with my own pubic hair.

Okay, I’m minding my business in the shower when I notice I could use a little groundskeeping at Mons Pubis, population 1,000,000 (and growing).

I luckily invested in a waterproof trimmer not too long ago and figured now’s as good a time as any to trim the hedges.

Buzz buzz motherfucker and what was once a teeming, overgrown city block is now a pristine community garden where folks won’t be afraid to stroll into and attempt planting some seeds (im not sorry for the innuendo).

Proud of my design and hygiene post trim, I finish the rest of my routine to get ready for bed. Cue the fuck up.

Post trim and post panty-application, I begin to feel the cotton on my shorter curly goods, and it begins to itch (like always, at first anyways!) So there I go, finger nails to the itchy sites and begin to scratch.

Sweet relief.

Until my finger… my pointer to be exact, began to sting IMMENSELY. OW OW OW and time to inspect the little sausage.

I run into the bathroom and find a single pubic hair launched into my fingerprint. A PUBIC HAIR. IN MY GOTDAMN FINGERPRINT.

All attempts at removal, including squeezing, tweezing, and freezing, have resulted in an even more painful (and bloody) finger. All from sharpening my pussy garden.

TL;DR: I trimmed my pubes which sharpened them causing one to splinter into my finger when I began to scratch.

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