Skip to main content

TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

TIFU by having birthday sex with my girlfriend

So, this is an actual TIFU cause the FU just happened about ten minutes ago.

Yesterday was my girlfriend’s 25th birthday, and so, of course, we go out with her friends and family and she gets pretty drunk. I did my boyfriend duties of taking care of her, getting her water, the whole nine yards. We get back to her apartment and I’m pretty tired so I go to lay down. She gets in bed, we cuddle for a few minutes, I’m thinking sleep is coming soon. Wrong.

We end up kissing and it obviously leads to something else, round one is done, boom bam pow, I’m ready to go to sleep for real this time and I assume she is too. Wrong again.

This is where the FU happens. We start at round two, and it’s going great. Trying new positions, enjoying ourselves, it’s a blast. My girlfriend goes to finish me off orally, and it’s working like a charm. I am almost to the finish line, when suddenly, she goes to repositioning herself. And by reposition herself, I mean she shifts her entire weight onto my knee cap, popping it clean out of place. So I am here screaming in pain in her bed, she’s confused, and it’s a nightmare. Thankfully, my knee popped itself back into place, and I’m not longer in pain. But now, she’s sleeping in shame for “hurting me” and I’m up dying laughing now that my kneecap isn’t protruding from my leg.

TL;DR - had sex with my girlfriend, she rolls over onto my kneecap, pops it out of place, now we may never have sex again.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU almost so bad by not unlogging from this Reddit account

I use this Reddit account to mod r/hearhimfuck , watch my porn and answer NSFWAMA when I feel like it. I religiously log off completely after every time because I don't want my partner or anyone knowing about this account. It's the holidays and we are all busy so I had a quick session with myself and ran to get a shower and leave for another family Christmas dinner. My phone stayed in my purse the whole evening. By the end there's 6 of us left and we're sitting in the living room, having mellow conversation. Pets are discussed and photos shown. Someone asks about my dogs so I go fetch my phone and sit back on the couch. As soon as I unlock it, there's a full blown ANAL clip playing. Fortunately, the sound was off. I manage to turn the sound all the way down and shut the app without anyone seeing. TLDR; Iwas THIS close from having hardcore porn blasting surrounded by my parents, my partner, an aunt and a two cousins. I can't imagine the aftermath of what could...

TIFU by fucking my coworker

Happened a couple of days ago, but yeah, as the title says... Oops... We've worked together for about a year now; we've always been friendly, but I never really clocked her as a potential romantic option; she's my coworker, she had a boyfriend when we started working together, and to be honest I just thought she was completely out of my league: I'm a schlub and she is gorgeous So when she texts me asking if we want to hang out after work, I genuinely thought nothing untoward would happen; I thought we were just going to chill and watch cartoons; and for a while we were just having a nice platonic hangout. But we got very drunk, and eventually she was giving me the bedroom eyes and saying we should make out. I very emphatically said that was a bad idea, but she kissed me anyway, and at that point I really lost any semblance of self-restraint.. I am not proud of myself, at all. I can tell myself that she came onto me, but ultimately I also comepletly let it happen. No...

TIFU by shopping on Amazon

So I have an Amazon account, and a family. Anyhow, the person I'm seeing likes to do things with me... try new things if you know what I mean 😏 Recently I've ordered a few packages with adult toys, swing, etc. And... clone a willy. It came in yesterday while I was out. While I was out I got a notification that the cloning kit came in. I sent my son a text asking him to bring my Amazon package in. He said he had already. I didn't think much of it. Until last night when I went to go... use it. I asked my son where the package was on my way out the door. He asked "The plant stand or the cloning kit?". Mind you, the boxes DO NOT say what the contents are, nor were they opened. He must have realized what he said because my face is a goddam story book. I just stood there silent and shocked. He pointed towards the closet. This has been going on for ages, but he has NEVER indicated knowing what's in the packages. So now my teenage son knows his mom is a freak. ...