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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by having birthday sex with my girlfriend

So, this is an actual TIFU cause the FU just happened about ten minutes ago.

Yesterday was my girlfriend’s 25th birthday, and so, of course, we go out with her friends and family and she gets pretty drunk. I did my boyfriend duties of taking care of her, getting her water, the whole nine yards. We get back to her apartment and I’m pretty tired so I go to lay down. She gets in bed, we cuddle for a few minutes, I’m thinking sleep is coming soon. Wrong.

We end up kissing and it obviously leads to something else, round one is done, boom bam pow, I’m ready to go to sleep for real this time and I assume she is too. Wrong again.

This is where the FU happens. We start at round two, and it’s going great. Trying new positions, enjoying ourselves, it’s a blast. My girlfriend goes to finish me off orally, and it’s working like a charm. I am almost to the finish line, when suddenly, she goes to repositioning herself. And by reposition herself, I mean she shifts her entire weight onto my knee cap, popping it clean out of place. So I am here screaming in pain in her bed, she’s confused, and it’s a nightmare. Thankfully, my knee popped itself back into place, and I’m not longer in pain. But now, she’s sleeping in shame for “hurting me” and I’m up dying laughing now that my kneecap isn’t protruding from my leg.

TL;DR - had sex with my girlfriend, she rolls over onto my kneecap, pops it out of place, now we may never have sex again.

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