Skip to main content

TIFU by having birthday sex with my girlfriend

So, this is an actual TIFU cause the FU just happened about ten minutes ago.

Yesterday was my girlfriend’s 25th birthday, and so, of course, we go out with her friends and family and she gets pretty drunk. I did my boyfriend duties of taking care of her, getting her water, the whole nine yards. We get back to her apartment and I’m pretty tired so I go to lay down. She gets in bed, we cuddle for a few minutes, I’m thinking sleep is coming soon. Wrong.

We end up kissing and it obviously leads to something else, round one is done, boom bam pow, I’m ready to go to sleep for real this time and I assume she is too. Wrong again.

This is where the FU happens. We start at round two, and it’s going great. Trying new positions, enjoying ourselves, it’s a blast. My girlfriend goes to finish me off orally, and it’s working like a charm. I am almost to the finish line, when suddenly, she goes to repositioning herself. And by reposition herself, I mean she shifts her entire weight onto my knee cap, popping it clean out of place. So I am here screaming in pain in her bed, she’s confused, and it’s a nightmare. Thankfully, my knee popped itself back into place, and I’m not longer in pain. But now, she’s sleeping in shame for “hurting me” and I’m up dying laughing now that my kneecap isn’t protruding from my leg.

TL;DR - had sex with my girlfriend, she rolls over onto my kneecap, pops it out of place, now we may never have sex again.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU By Fumbling My Gym Crush

I've never posted on Reddit before so apologies if anything is off. I (F) had a crush on a man at my gym for months. We would make extended eye contact frequently, workout in proximity, the usual gym things that get over analyzed when you like someone. He's wildly handsome, but I liked his vibe. A lot. It's hard to explain when someone's energy just hits different but his did. One day he started coming in with a woman. The day I saw her with him, he and I actually stared at each other from across the room for a while, and I turned and walked away because obviously gym rules - that's his girlfriend until I'm told otherwise. The eye contact continues and so does the proximity but I've dialed back completely because in my head, he has a girl and I am no home wrecker. Well, recently, on a Sunday, I was having a real shit day. I accidentally hurt my shoulder so my back day was all off, my body wasn't cooperating, the gym was packed - all I wanted to do w...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by sh*tting in the bushes at a high school

So I’m training for a local 10k race in a couple months. That’s about 6.2 miles. Not a long race but not a short one either. I’m making good progress and tinkering with what works for me on longer runs, how I can keep my body moving at an easy, consistent pace for about 70-80 minutes. I’ve been increasing the distance over the past few months, prioritizing getting the distance down before I work on pace. I train early mornings at a local high school track within walking distance of my house. They have public hours almost every morning from 6-8 am. It’s a very nice track with good lighting and ✨no public bathrooms✨. Because I’ve been focused on increasing distance I’m waking up earlier and earlier to get to the track and really hammer it out before I go home and shower for work. In turn, I’ve been drinking a little extra COFFEE most mornings get my body going. Til now this hasn’t been a problem, I don’t leave the house until my body takes care of business. I successfully dropped the ...
Post a Comment
Read more