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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

TIFU by giving my wife some bomb head

This just happened and I’m in the ER as I type this.

So lately I’ve been mad turned on by my wife and have been going down on her at every opportunity. I love to give, it’s one of my favorite things and she knows that.

My wife has had some back issues in the past and they flared up this week and it’s been really bad for her, like things like bending over are difficult for her. Today she called out of work because it hurt so bad and she scheduled an appointment for tonight at 5:45 pm EST.

I work from home so naturally after every call I’d come in and check on her and maybe give a little tease to her to lighten her spirits. Then at 2:30 pm I text her and tell her to start playing with herself around 4:45 so that I can get in there and give her some lovin before the doctors appointment.

5:00 pm comes and I get off work and I go straight to our room and rip the sheets off and start to go to town on her. I mean everything is sloshing around and my chin is dripping. She climax’s and I’m like alright cool let’s get you dressed and to the doctor.

She gets dressed and goes to stand up and is frozen by the pain and her back locks up and she can’t move. We try for another 25 minutes until i call the dr and they say at this point I need to call the paramedics and we need to go to the ER. She begs and pleads not to, but I know she can’t stand and definitely can’t walk down 3 flights of stairs at our apartment.

We finally call the non emergency line and request an ambulance and they let us know they’re on the way!

As soon as they get there I get the door and walk them to our bedroom and holy shit it smells like a pussy bomb went off. Like imagine diving your nose into a cabinet and sniffing, that’s what it smelled like.

They got her down the stairs but man i’m sure they walked in and were taken back by the strong smell.

TL:DR I ate my wife out before paramedics came and our room smelled like the inside of a vagina.

edit: guys it smelled like sex in our room and it’s not a very big room, she smells wonderful to me and it did not smell badly, just smelled like sex. she nor i have any sort of std or yeast infection.

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