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TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

TIFU by letting my mom use my bathroom

This just happened a few hours ago and I am still horrified. So my mom stopped by my apartment today after I dropped my girlfriend off at work and I made some coffee and we chatted a bit. Then when she was about to leave she asked if she could use my restroom and I said yeah of course. As soon as she went in I panicked. I had totally forgotten that me and my girlfriend are kinky freaks and her dildo is stuck to the wall above the sink with my cockring/vibrating prostate massager toy hung onto it. By the time I realize it's too late and I'm shitting myself out of shame and embarrassment. I text my girlfriend just a long drawn out "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH" and explain the situation. All she could to was type OMG over and over again. After a minute or two my mom came out, and didn't mention a thing. Just started playing with the cat then said she had to head out. Told me to tell my girlfriend hi. I wanted to run away. Kill me now. I suppose we will both pretend nothing happened and she didn't see anything. I'm going to try my hardest to forget about it and I'm sure she'll do the same.

TLDR: my mom saw me and my girlfriends sex toys stuck to the wall

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