TIFU by surprise visiting the guy I've been seeing for the past 4 months.

I'm 27(M) he's 30(M). We met last year after a casual hookup. This was before the whole social distancing thing was in full effect. We kind of hit it off so I just started texting with him here and there. Stopped talking for a few months before I hit him up again for another casual encounter around December 2020 or January 2021.

After this, I kinda started feeling something. It wasn't a crush, but it was something. We started texting a little more, not full blown daily conversations, just idle chit chat here and there.

Around May/June 2021, I messaged him after going to visit some friends, it was a 3 and half hour drive back home and he was on the way. I was expecting a hook-up, but we ended up just being very affectionate with each other, cuddling for an hour or so before finally passing out.

Fast forward to mid June, and I tell him I'm moving 100 miles north come July, he's visibly disappointed, but at this point it's clear we're both into each other.

So every other Weekend I drive down 2 and half hours to go visit him. I leave Saturday morning, and come back home early Sunday because he has to go pick his daughter up. On one occasion I drove down and back the same night just to see him.

Things are going pretty swell, we're talking pretty much every day. Around mid September, I ask him if he wants to move forward and actually become a couple. He replies with that he does like me a lot, but doesn't want to rush things. So I wait.

October has been a very busy week for me. From losing my job, to having a trip to California to see my family. Because of this, that last time I had seen him before today, was three weeks ago. I had expressed how excited I was to see him, and how I wanted to go on a museum date when I could go visit again. He seemed really into it too.

At this point, we still aren't officially dating, but he's the only guy I've been meeting with and daily talking.

His texts had become a bit distance in the past week. He had told me that he was getting overwhelmed with work, so I thought he might just be tired and not wanting to socialize much after getting off.

We still had plans to see each other this weekend.

Wednesday, he messaged me about three times then went silent. I was a little worried but he greeted me with a "morning! :)" text the next day.

Thursday was the last I had heard from him, my last text to him had remained ignored.

On Friday, I told myself I wasn't going to message him and see if he reached out to me. He didn't.

Today, I messaged him that I'd be passing through his area on the way to pick up a package.(this was actually a lie though) I was planning on surprising him with a date night

Still no reply, at this point I'm thinking, did he die in his sleep? Is his phone broken? Did he go somewhere and never return?

So I get up super early, tell myself I'm going to go see what's up. I'm broke, I gave $30 in my account, and can't pay rent tomorrow. It's a horrible financial decision, but him being absent has been eating at me for almost 4 days.

If something had happened to him, I was bracing myself for the worst.

If he was home, I had called my mom for some borrowed money so I can take him out on that museum date, then maybe a pumpkin patch, and end the night by finally asking him to be mine.

The entire hundred mile drive was excruciating. I was filled with anxiety of the unknown the whole way.

I get there, see his car parked in the lot. So obviously he's home. I knock, no answer.

I twist the doorknob to see if it opens, it does! I was expecting to find him asleep on the sofa, but instead, I'm greeted to the sight of him embracing another guy on his bed with underwear and a lube bottle on the floor.

I'm distraught, not because he had hooked up with someone else, but because of how intimate they were. Embraced and slowly kissing.

I call his name out, he's shocked to see me there. I ask him if we can talk outside. Tells me he's been seeing the guy for a week.(explains why he had been so distant and absent) then tells me that he couldn't tell if I was serious about him or not and that's why he's been seeing the other guy.

The moment that completely broke my heart was me asking if he's going to keep seeing the dude, and just replying with a nod....

So I spent almost 4 hours crying on the drive home because of traffic and the scene of him nodding playing on loop in my head.

I still like him, and he said he'd call me later today so we can talk about it and he'll make a decision of what he wants to do.

Tl;dr: Guy I'd been seeing for 4 months hadn't replied in three days, decided to surprise him with a date night, found him post fuck with another guy in bed on the day we were supposed to hang out and said he'd been dating the guy for a week.