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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU By having 3 of my exes and my current partner share the same toothbrush

This happened last weekend.

I have a habit when in a relationship to try to do small acts of kindness for my partner that will help ease their day. This could be grabbing a coffee for them while they're working or making breakfast for them before they wake up. For the sake of this story we're going to focus on my old habit when traveling to always pack an extra toothbrush for my girlfriend.

It started in 2016 when my ex, who I had been dating for some time, had repeatedly forgotten to pack a toothbrush. One weekend we had planned a trip out of town and while packing my toiletry bag I noticed I had an extra toothbrush at home so I packed it for her. She ended up using it on the trip, then left it at my apartment until she eventually brought her own, and I eventually just left the old toothbrush in my toiletry bag in case we went on another trip together. We didn't and broke up not long after and I forgot about the toothbrush.

In 2017 I'm dating someone new and we're going out of town for the weekend. I go to the store and buy new toothbrushes thinking it would be nice in case she forgets hers. The night before I pack my suitcase including my old toiletry bag and head out early the next day with her. We get to our hotel and before bed I unpack my bag and get ready to brush my teeth when my partner tells me she's forgotten her toothbrush. I reassured her I prepared for this and pulled out my own toothbrush and the extra for her and we get brushing. I realize all to late that I too had forgotten the toothbrush because she is now smiling at me in the mirror while brushing her teeth with my ex's toothbrush. I decide not to panic and aggressively brush away at my teeth. We split up a month later and the toothbrush returns to it's true home, my old toiletry bag.

Some time after victim #2, I have a FWB over at my home who needs an extra toothbrush. At the time I had several extra toothbrushes I received from my dentist in one of the drawers in my bathroom so I instruct her on where to find them. She instead opens the wrong drawer, rifles through my old toiletry bag and fishes out the toothbrush I should have thrown away 2 ex's ago. Instead I see her using it as she comes into my room asking if I had extra pajamas. I did have extra pajamas however I did not have the heart to tell her she was using the same toothbrush 2 of my exes had used. Thankfully, the arrangement ended soon after so my guilt didn't have a chance to sprout.

Thus brings us to last weekend when I safely secured my place in hell. My current partner and I bought travel tooth brushes together which I preemptively packed in my suitcase to make sure I didn't forget them. I however had forgotten that I had recently switched to a new suitcase. While scrambling to pack the morning of I mindlessly grab the extra toothbrush from my old toiletry bag and throw it into my suitcase. My partner and I that night go to brush our teeth and I give them "their toothbrush" they note that it looks different than the ones we used before. I nod but can't put together why it looks different. It suddenly comes rushing back and realizes my dark dental ex ritual routine had inadvertently continued. I didn't even feel like stopping them at this point because I've accepted that this is just the flavor of awful I am.

TL;DR I have managed to change an act of kindness of packing an extra toothbrush into a horrible routine of all my exes sharing the same toothbrush.

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