Skip to main content

TIFU by implying to my small town that my brother likes butt stuff.

This did just happen this morning. To set the scene, my family lives in a pretty small, very conservative town. My older brother (and my family by extension) is pretty widely known because he’s a drug addict and is always getting into trouble, and my dad is always bailing him out. He’s finally decided to seek help and has gone to rehab. He contacted me yesterday asking for a carton of cigarettes. Per the rehab facility’s rules, I can’t drop things off for him, he has to receive them by mail.

So yesterday I bought him a carton of the cigarettes he wanted. I checked the usps, ups, and fedex websites last night to see which would have it there the fastest for a reasonable price. UPS is able to get the package to him Tuesday night if I ship it this morning. Perfect, there’s a UPS on my route to work the next town over.

So this morning I stop at the UPS on the way to work with my carton of cigarettes. I grabbed a large padded envelope and headed to the counter to ship my carton. The guy behind the counter saw the carton and told me his location doesn’t have a tobacco license so they can’t ship the carton. But the guy at the counter told me, had the carton of cigarettes already been in the envelope, they wouldn’t have know what was in it, and they would have been able to ship it.

So I purchased the large envelope, went to my car, and stuffed the carton in there. The next closest UPS was back in my home town, but the opposite direction from my work (which is why I didn’t originally go there). I really wanted the package to reach him by tomorrow so I headed that way immediately. I entered the store and waited in line. It’s pretty busy, I guess because the holiday season. It’s finally my turn so I give the lady my envelope and tell her I’m sending it to my brother, gave her the name and address. She asked if it’s residential or business. I told her I’m not sure what it counts as, since it’s a rehab facility and my brother is living there temporarily. She picks “business” and proceeds. Everything is going smoothly and I think I’m going to get away with it when the lady then asks “and what are you mailing today?”

The envelope clearly has a long skinny box. My brain kind of goes blank for a second and I say “uhhhh… it’s a dildo.”

The lady at the counter starts laughing, the lady at the next counter starts laughing, the customer at the next counter starts laughing, and the next three customers in line start laughing. Then the customer at the counter next to me, some old lady, says “I guess it gets lonely in rehab!” I kinda half chuckle, pay quickly, and leave.

In the parking lot I send my brother the tracking number and tell him to avoid the local ups because I told them he likes butt stuff.

TLDR: Tried to send my brother smokes, but the ups by my job wouldn’t take them, so I went to the UPS by my house and told them I’m sending my brother a dildo because he’s lonely in rehab.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by forgetting my purse and attempting to get fuel

Not the craziest story but hey. I'm obligated to say this was a few months ago but I cringe every time I go past the petrol station . My petrol was getting low, not dangerously so but it said 27 miles left, (oftentimes it then suddenly drops to about 16 for example, and then 5 and then 0 very fast) I didnt have my purse on me as I just didn't need it... Picked my daughter up from school and then went on to collect my 2 stepdaughters from across town and then set off for home. En route the gauge went to 7 and then suddenly it was 1 so I stopped at the petrol station near our house. The petrol was on 0 as i pulled up to the pump and that's when I realised I had no money. I left the kids in the car at the pump and went in to talk to the cashier, it wasn't mega busy but there was a queue, I'd heard that they can help you if you can't pay for fuel. Like keeping something of yours as security. It was an elderly man and he basically refused to help. At this point i...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more