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TIFU by asking my wife for a threesome and possibly ruining things between us

I met my wife online through a hobby forum a few years ago. She lived in Canada and I lived in America, at first I had developed a huge crush but figured it could never go anywhere due to the distance but we talked so much and connected so well that we just had to admit we had something special. It still blows my mind that this woman 1. exists and 2. likes me back just as much. We worked really hard on closing the gap, moved in with each other and as of a few months ago, are now married.

My wife is bi and has dated a woman in the past. I've made a few jokes here and there about her and her female friends and she's laughed at them, but she's never mentioned any desire to have any kind of fling with other women now that we are together.

Here's my TIFU. One of her friends is recently single and a lesbian, and yesterday I (stupidly) sat my wife down and asked her if she'd ever be interested in bringing other women into the bedroom with us. I knew as soon as I asked it I had fucked up, she went quiet and looked like she wanted to cry. Before she could answer I told her that I was sorry and I shouldn't have asked that and I didn't mean anything by it and she just kinda nodded at me and went to the shower. I don't think any physical pain I've experienced has come close to what I felt listening to my wife try to quietly cry in the other room because I'm such a dumbass.

She's told me since that she's not mad at me but just extremely hurt. She wasn't speaking very much to me and I tried to have a conversation about the silent treatment not being productive and she told me that whenever she speaks to me now she feels pathetic and that she's "embarrassed that she thought we felt the same about each other". I don't know how to get across to her that it doesn't matter that much to me, I think I've done permanent damage here.

She was really excited to make a nice Christmas dinner for our first year as an official legally recognized family (and she's an incredible cook), but now she's been trying to figure out a way to go visit her parents instead.

I have well and truly fucked up here.

TL;DR asked my bi wife if we could invite her friend to a threesome and destroyed her emotionally

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