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Tifu by delaying my family’s Uber ride to the airport because I decided to jerk off at the very last minute

Every other year, my entire family vacations in the Caribbean around the holidays. My siblings and I live in different parts of the country but we’ll usually come home to my parents in December and fly to the Caribbean together. This is usually a highly anticipated trip. And so as you can imagine, we were all pretty psyched this morning. Before heading to the airport, we were all zipping up and down the house kind of like in Home Alone 2 (but only 2 parents and 4 siblings). About 15 minutes before the Uber arrived, I went up to my room and into my bathroom to jerk off. Why not have a last minute jerk off session I thought? I had my phone in my left hand looking up the necessary content, and my right hand stroking my dick. After I was done, I placed my phone on top of the toilet tank cover, so that I could clean up and straighten things out before heading downstairs.

While downstairs I realized I didn’t have my phone. And so I started looking for it. The Uber was a few minutes out and so at this point I am frantically looking for it everywhere. Everywhere but the bathroom. At some point, my mom and siblings are now helping me look for it. My brother tried calling it but it was on silent and the vibration was off. My mom kept on saying “retrace your steps. Check all the rooms you’ve been in.” Strangely enough, I had completely forgotten that I had jerked off in my bathroom moments earlier. It just wasn’t on my mind as a possible location where the phone might be. At this point I’d lost all hope and I said “I actually don’t need my phone. I’ll be on vacation”. I had my work phone too and so I thought at least I’ll have a phone. But I was sad about the prospect of not having my personal phone. They were all feeling sad for me and kept on looking.

You know that thing people say about mothers, that they are super humans that know everything? Well it played out right before my eyes. At this point with the Uber now having waited outside for like 10 minutes, she literally said: “Check your bathroom”. I smiled weirdly because I remembered exactly where it was. I was also super embarrassed internally unbeknownst to them. I went up to the bathroom, got the phone and we hit the road to the airport.

TL;DR I delayed my family’s Uber ride to the airport because I lost my phone after using it to look up porn on it while jerking off.

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