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TIFU by getting my companion’s mom high

So obligatory this happened yesterday. I (21M) am a bit of a stoner. I also love to cook, so trying new recipes is always a task I’m down for. Flashback to one week ago, I’m as toasted as a campfire marshmallow and eating some of those pillsbury cinnamon rolls. I get this bright idea to make some cannabis-infused cinnamon rolls. I have a bread maker, an oil infuser, and a lot of time on my hands so I get straight to work. Although this delicious treat had some very potent oil, I’m a well seasoned pot-head and know what I’m getting myself into. All in all, for those interested, I’d say each roll (I made about 30) were anywhere from 80-100mg of THC each (I believe a standard dose of THC is 10mg). But I mask up the weed taste quite well with the cinnamon sugar and a homemade frosting with maple, pack it up into containers, and stick them in the freezer so they can last a while.

Now we will skip ahead to yesterday, Christmas morning. Now I love Christmas, even though I am not religious and wasn’t really brought up in a home that celebrated, it’s still one of my favorite holidays. What makes it better is that my companion (22F) and her family are SUPER into the holidays, so getting to spend it with them is an absolute joy and pleasure! But being that I’m staying over at her parent’s house, I of course don’t want to bring my raw greens to smoke and stink up the neighborhood, so I bring the edibles. I will note here that I put them in a (tubberware?) labeled “XXX” and stuck them in the most unnoticeable place in the freezer, so nobody would try to eat them. Nobody ate them on accident, thankfully, this is not one of those stories. But here is where I FU.

My companion’s mom suffers from a condition that has partially paralyzed half of her body and has made it very difficult for her to move around. Because of this, she’s been getting more into legalized hemp products to help relieve some symptoms. I let her know that I brought these edibles with me that contain THC and she’s more than welcome to have one if she’d like, to which she agrees. Before really thinking about it, I pick out the smallest roll, pop it in a microwave, and serve it to her. She eats it, loves it, and then I leave to see other family for Christmas Day (with the intent of coming back later). I get a text from one of my companion’s sisters 3 hours later saying “mom is absolutely toasted right now” and I can’t help to giggle because I’m sure she is. But then it dawns on me how I made the edibles specifically for me, someone who had a high tolerance and smokes every day. I wanted the edibles to kick in and feel strong even if I, an absolute bong behemoth, was already blazed. And I gave one, even if it was smaller, to a small, half-paralyzed Catholic woman who has probably taken a hit of a joint once or twice in her entire life. So she wasn’t just toasted, she was absolutely zooted. Like imagine bouncing on clouds while Strauss’ Blue Danube is playing, but it’s the middle of the afternoon on Christmas. And the family’s traditional Christmas dinner has yet to be made. So by the time I get back, companion’s mom is glued to the chair she was in when I left, unable to really move at all but boy was she smiling. She couldn’t get up for dinner, hell when bedtime came she couldn’t even walk up the stairs to bed. She had to stay and sleep on that chair. Companion’s father ended up cooking the whole dinner by himself, I tried to help a bit at the tail end but I could tell he was pretty frustrated that I intoxicated his wife so much that she couldn’t even stand, understandably so.

Let’s just say I got quite a lot of side-eyes and glances from the family last night. But they were all very nice about it, reminding me that it was just a human mistake and maybe try to be a little more aware next time (they really are a great family). So I feel absolutely terrible that I couch-locked my companion’s mother for all of Christmas, but hey I guess this is one for “the books.” She told us before bed last night that she has had an epiphany during her high but needed to wait until she came down to articulate it to us, so now I get to enjoy breakfast and hear all about the drug-induced learning experience I put her through. I’ll update with her newfound wisdom!

Tl;Dr: I baked potent edibles because I have a high tolerance and gave one to my companion’s mom who doesn’t get high often without thinking about how strong they would be for her. She couldn’t move from her chair until the next morning.

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