Skip to main content

TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

TIFU by laughing like a flatulent sadist.

This happened earlier today. I work in data entry, open office, 15 people in a room, processing transactions all day. Since COVID, we communicate 99.9% by group chat, so the room is pretty silent.

It was Monday morning after a somewhat hectic weekend, and I felt a little loopy from lack of sleep. As part of my morning’s work, I processed a transaction for someone whose first/last happens to match the name of a property on a Monopoly board, and for some reason this struck me as the funniest thing ever. Cue the FU: I tried and failed to suppress a laugh, and the laugh came out sounding equal parts embarrassed and self-amused due to the highly corny nature of the joke in my head, combined with loopiness.

Out of coincidence, someone near me passed some truly alarming gas at the same time that I began laughing. We're talking grievous olfactory assault-- not like rank eggs or old garbage, but like actual uncovered waste. The tone and timing of my laugh made it sound like I’d been the culprit, and my knowing this just made me laugh more, like some cartoon villain who has opened up gastric hell and is amused by the harm he's caused.

 No one has made eye contact with me since the incident.

TL;DR I laughed at a dumb joke in my head at the same time someone laid an SBD, causing everyone to think I'd dealt it.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU almost so bad by not unlogging from this Reddit account

I use this Reddit account to mod r/hearhimfuck , watch my porn and answer NSFWAMA when I feel like it. I religiously log off completely after every time because I don't want my partner or anyone knowing about this account. It's the holidays and we are all busy so I had a quick session with myself and ran to get a shower and leave for another family Christmas dinner. My phone stayed in my purse the whole evening. By the end there's 6 of us left and we're sitting in the living room, having mellow conversation. Pets are discussed and photos shown. Someone asks about my dogs so I go fetch my phone and sit back on the couch. As soon as I unlock it, there's a full blown ANAL clip playing. Fortunately, the sound was off. I manage to turn the sound all the way down and shut the app without anyone seeing. TLDR; Iwas THIS close from having hardcore porn blasting surrounded by my parents, my partner, an aunt and a two cousins. I can't imagine the aftermath of what could...

TIFU by fucking my coworker

Happened a couple of days ago, but yeah, as the title says... Oops... We've worked together for about a year now; we've always been friendly, but I never really clocked her as a potential romantic option; she's my coworker, she had a boyfriend when we started working together, and to be honest I just thought she was completely out of my league: I'm a schlub and she is gorgeous So when she texts me asking if we want to hang out after work, I genuinely thought nothing untoward would happen; I thought we were just going to chill and watch cartoons; and for a while we were just having a nice platonic hangout. But we got very drunk, and eventually she was giving me the bedroom eyes and saying we should make out. I very emphatically said that was a bad idea, but she kissed me anyway, and at that point I really lost any semblance of self-restraint.. I am not proud of myself, at all. I can tell myself that she came onto me, but ultimately I also comepletly let it happen. No...

TIFU by shopping on Amazon

So I have an Amazon account, and a family. Anyhow, the person I'm seeing likes to do things with me... try new things if you know what I mean 😏 Recently I've ordered a few packages with adult toys, swing, etc. And... clone a willy. It came in yesterday while I was out. While I was out I got a notification that the cloning kit came in. I sent my son a text asking him to bring my Amazon package in. He said he had already. I didn't think much of it. Until last night when I went to go... use it. I asked my son where the package was on my way out the door. He asked "The plant stand or the cloning kit?". Mind you, the boxes DO NOT say what the contents are, nor were they opened. He must have realized what he said because my face is a goddam story book. I just stood there silent and shocked. He pointed towards the closet. This has been going on for ages, but he has NEVER indicated knowing what's in the packages. So now my teenage son knows his mom is a freak. ...