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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by opening a condom with my teeth

I (M24) was told that you should not open a condom with your mouth, the reasoning being you could cut the condom with your teeth. However, in the heat of the moment one wants to be sexy and it's the only way (I've managed) to unwrap one with one hand while putting the other to good use. I figured that with today's latex technology and if I just tear the corner of the wrapper, that it shouldn't be an issue. Only did it for three months until today. What was a wonderful morning quickie turned into an awful start to the day when the second I finished the tip of the condom ripped... I felt it and pulled out but it was too late.

My poor girl was terribly stressed but thankfully she works from home. So I just got her plan B, some macaroons, and her favorite coffee. I hope it helps her but it marred a great night and what could have been a great start to the day.

Tl;dr I opened a condom with my mouth and it ripped as I came inside a girl.

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