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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by using mom’s Walgreens rewards account

So, for context, I’m a 25 year old woman. I have a full-time job, I pay my rent, my car, my bills, etc. I put money into retirement accounts, I’m in a long-term, healthy relationship. I pride myself on being a pretty independent adult and having my shit together.

I realized the extent of my fu today, but it has actually been years in the making. When I was in college, we had a 24 hour Walgreens pretty close to campus. I went there for everything, but with it being open 24 hours, I mostly went there for late night snacks and booze. Or condoms. I mean, I did go there occasionally for everyday things, to be fair, but I definitely went there for a good amount of “late night activities.” The first time I went, they asked if I had a phone number with a rewards account or whatever. So what do I do? Like any sensible college student, I punched in my mom’s phone number, and it works! Because of course Mom has a rewards account! So every time I went, I put in her phone number and used whatever discounts or rewards applied to my purchase. And I kept doing it, even after I graduated, until today.

I recently got a new job, and my new insurance had me sign up for a CVS rewards account, so I did. And I figured while I’m at it, I might as well knock all the pharmacies out and sign up for Walgreens, too. This was a few months ago.

I finally went to Walgreens today and proudly typed in my own number when they asked. “This is TRUE adulting,” I think.

Before I even get to my car, my phone buzzes. It’s an email from Walgreens. “Thank you for your purchase!” I open the email and am horrified to see an itemized receipt of the three things I just bought. All I can think about is all the times I’ve ever used mom’s number for very not mom-safe purchases in the past seven years. And, I’ve been doing this at CVS, too!! Although I haven’t been to CVS since yet opening up my own account, so TBD on the extent of my fuck up there. I just want to be sucked into a black hole.

TLDR; My poor mother has been receiving email receipts from Walgreens and has seen every box of condoms and bottle of vodka that I’ve bought there for the past seven years.

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