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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by chewing Alka Seltzer.

For context, I haven't been feeling well lately and in searching the medicine cabinet, I realized we were out of Tylenol, Nyquil, Dayquil, and the like. Not even any Ibuprofen in this house. But aha! I did see a possibly very old box of Alka Seltzer Cold and Flu. "Perfect", I thought to myself. I thought it was my saving grace.

Despite being born in the 80's, I had never seen those commercials that my husband has now shown me many of. I also didn't read the package instructions because I figured I could just take one tablet and call it a day.

They are lemon flavored so I was even more enthused about my lucky find. If I am going to eat chalk, it at least better have a flavor. Imagine my surprise, shock, and horror when I crunched into the stupid thing and my mouth started foaming...and foaming...and foaming. In a moment of sheer panic, I tried to rinse my mouth out with water and of course, that only made it worse and multiplied the foam. My husband walked into quite a spectacle and was somewhere between confused and incredulous.

Surely I can't be the only one who is unfamiliar with how Alka Seltzer works...right? According to my husband, I am. FML.

TL;DR - I never saw someone use Alka Seltzer so I chewed it. Cue mouth foam and amused husband. When I tried to add water to the situation, it only worsened. Ugh.

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