Skip to main content

TIFU by telling my coworker his wife should get an abortion

Obligatory this happened a few hours ago. I am on a desktop, and English is my first language. All mistakes are on account of my own incompetence.

I'm outside earlier today chatting with a coworker, who wanted my opinion on getting a 7 seater vehicle similar to the one that I have. I go over the pros and cons, and tell him to avoid a specific model year.

Then I say "Dude, now is a really bad time to be buying any car! You might want to wait a little bit until this whole chip shortage thing figures itself out". My dude revealed his wife was pregnant, and he really had not much choice in the matter.

I smile, and make a gesture below my belt in a waving/cutting motion "Hey Dude, I know a doctor who can help you out!" to which he deadpan responds "Nah, she's 33 weeks that's not gonna work."

It took me a minute. What I meant to indicate was "Hey, my dick dock can snip yer cock" aka I know a good urologist. After what felt like an uncomfortable 1.25 seconds, I tried to laugh it off and said "Dude! Not her, YOU!" .... I smiled and shuffled away.

TL;DR meant to tell coworker he should get his cocknballs snipped, he thought I meant his wife should get a borsh.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...
Post a Comment
Read more