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TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

TIFU by telling my coworker his wife should get an abortion

Obligatory this happened a few hours ago. I am on a desktop, and English is my first language. All mistakes are on account of my own incompetence.

I'm outside earlier today chatting with a coworker, who wanted my opinion on getting a 7 seater vehicle similar to the one that I have. I go over the pros and cons, and tell him to avoid a specific model year.

Then I say "Dude, now is a really bad time to be buying any car! You might want to wait a little bit until this whole chip shortage thing figures itself out". My dude revealed his wife was pregnant, and he really had not much choice in the matter.

I smile, and make a gesture below my belt in a waving/cutting motion "Hey Dude, I know a doctor who can help you out!" to which he deadpan responds "Nah, she's 33 weeks that's not gonna work."

It took me a minute. What I meant to indicate was "Hey, my dick dock can snip yer cock" aka I know a good urologist. After what felt like an uncomfortable 1.25 seconds, I tried to laugh it off and said "Dude! Not her, YOU!" .... I smiled and shuffled away.

TL;DR meant to tell coworker he should get his cocknballs snipped, he thought I meant his wife should get a borsh.

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