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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by writing a shitpost months ago

So we will have to set the stage for a small tifu post. A few months ago there was an AskReddit thread about how your affair started. Being a cheeky bastard I decided to reply with shit post of having a small addiction to a video game and that was my affair since it took time away from my girlfriend. I said things like friends introduced us, it started off casually enough but became more serious sometimes seeing each other four or five nights a week, staying up late, waking up early just to spend more time with "her," etc. I did end the post calling out the game I was referencing and I thought I was one clever son of a bitch. Well the reply didn't gain any traction and that's fine, I had fun writing it and it made me laugh so I promptly forget about it.

Over the years I have been trying to get my girlfriend into Reddit but she never liked the interface or how confusing it can be and that's fine we both get a kick out of the stupid shit I find and share. These past couple of days I noticed that she was acting kind of cold and distant, but she never said anything to me, and I know I didn't do anything wrong so it must have been work related.

Well queue the fuck up. Turns out over the weekend she was trying to get familiar with Reddit again and wondered if it was like other social media platforms. She searched for my username (it's not difficult to figure out if you know me) and started going through my post history and stumbled upon the "affair" post. She didn't say anything to me but talked to friends and they said to confront him about it and get the truth.

After taking the dog out last night it all came out. She angrily showed me a screenshot of my post and told me to explain myself. I laughed and that did not help the situation at all. After explaining that it was just me making a shit post and if she replaced all the references of "her" with the game it would make more sense. It took a few minutes then she started laughing and crying when it dawned on her that it was all a joke. After things calmed down I also pointed out a few inconsistencies with the post such as I would go out 4 nights a week when in fact I'm the biggest home body only leaving to work or grocery shop. Everything worked out in the end, and it looks like I did do something wrong but completely unintentional.

TLDR: Write a shit post about an "affair" with a game, girlfriend found the post and thought I was cheating.

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