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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by having a “Liquid Lunch“

So not actually today but the significance of a sequence of events that happened a year ago just hit me. So I used to work as a bus driver for a university, so the summers are pretty slow and one day I ended up having a long time for my lunch break, so I decided to go get some Pho, I love pho, so I ate/drank a whole large Pho and about 20 dr. Peppers and then sloshed my way back to work . Of course when I arrive in the office to pick up my keys and paperwork the dispatcher (who’s desk is right next to my bosses, and his boss) asks me how my lunch was etc. to which I reply “well I had a liquid lunch so I’m feeling quite sloshy at the moment but it was really nice!” Then strolled out to my bus to finish my day doing loops of an empty campus. Much to my surprise and Glee, an hour or two later I am pulled off my shift for a “random drug test” (these are effectively extended, paid, coffee breaks where you get to go wait at the urgent care for up to an hour messing around on your phone), it hit me today that I heavily implied to a room full of my superiors that I spent my long lunch at the bar then immediately operated a 60ft bus. Nothing came of it, because of course the drug test came back negative for Alcohol precipitates and it could easily have been a pure coincidence, but you never know.

TL:DR- I cheerily told my boss I had a “liquid lunch” before operating a ‘60 vehicle, it was soup.

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