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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU wearing dirty clothes

Obligatory this didn’t happen today but years ago. A story of laughter and shame.

I hate even writing this because all the TIFU sex stories are borderline fiction. My wife and I had sex but of course no towel was around so I grabbed the nearest thing which was a shirt and tossed that shit into the dirty hamper no big deal.

The next day I said let’s go for a walk/run exercise again no big deal. I think in my infinite wisdom “Hey, why are you going to get out of bed and waste a clean shirt to run outside then come back and shower? Get a worn one.” Mistake. We start our walk and in the middle of it my wife is walking behind me and asks me where I got that shirt? Of course I said the dirty pile I just wore it why waste anything thinking I’m being a responsible person. Wrong. She goes “Oh my god. You’re wearing the cum shirt!”

I just stopped and said what. She repeated that I was wearing the cum shirt while laughing endlessly. This fucking shirt is black and I didn’t even look or think that I grabbed a black shirt last night so you can imagine how it looked on the back. I couldn’t stop laughing. I had to walk of shame about a mile home wearing a fucking cum rag essentially. Now years later she’ll still say in regards to a fuck up I might make “At least it’s not at a cum shirt level”. Never fails to make us laugh.

TL;DR Wore a shirt used after sex during exercise and had to walk back home with visible jizz stains.

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