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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU and I think I totaled my car with onions

Yesterday I went in to this great Italian restaurant and I got myself this big italian sub, great crusty bread, with all the stuff on it. Lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions, hots, oil, vinegar, oregano. The works.

Then I'm driving down the road and I've got this monster on the passenger seat. I'm opening and unwrapping it with one hand but it's immediately clear there's no way to eat this thing while I'm driving. So I'm looking for a parking lot where I can hang out for a bit and eat my lunch.

Suddenly the guy in front of me slams on his brakes, I slam on mine, and this sandwich fucking EXPLODES across the dashboard in a shower of pickles, onions and hots. I think some of it went right in the vents. It took me 3 attempts to find all the particles and clean my car, and it still smells like onions. Fuck me.

TL:DR made an epic Mediterranean mess in my car with onions and pickles. May need to buy a new vehicle.

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