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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU By communicating with my wife

You know how one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship is communication?

That thought was on my mind this morning when I woke up next to my wife. The morning sunlight made her skin glow with an aura I'm sure one could only see through my eyes.

I shuffled over to her side of the bed, trying to be as gentle as I could. I wanted to preserve that moment but I couldn't resist the urge to be closer to her.

I settled in with my head laying next to hers and looking directly into her beautiful blue eyes. Her closed lids could never hide what I know to be the most lovely pair of eyes I've ever seen.

She must have felt me there because her eyes began to slowly open.

Just when I thought I couldn't feel any more content in my life, she smiles at me.

I smile right back at her and with the thought of communication on my mind I promptly said " You don't let me spoon with you while we sleep because you'll fart on my dick right?"

She hasn't spoken to me since.

TLDR: I asked my wife if she was afraid of farting on my dick.

Wife won't talk to me.

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