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My (adoptive) parents raised since I was maybe 3 years old. Since my bio-mom named me, my surname is different from my parents. I've always felt a little weird about not having the same last name, so I decided I would change it. In the midst of changing my last name, I fell in love with my (now) husband. I knew I would be taking his last name, so I made the decision to take my parent's last name as my middle name. My last name would be my husband's name.
I told my husband my plan and he was fully on board. We had SEVERAL conversations about my new name. This man said nothing.
So our wedding comes and goes. My husband watches me complete the paperwork and mail everything off. I am one of those weird people who likes to personalize everything (and my husband knows this), so I made a bunch of purchases with my new initials. I was most excited about my sunhat, which had my new initials on it in bold block letters. Here's how the conversation went:
Me: Honey, you like my new hat?
Him: Is this a joke?
Me: No. I bought it for our honeymoon. Why are you upset?
Him: Your hat says "YID".
Me: Yes...those are my initials.
Him: (Complete silence, then laughter).
Between fits of laughter, my husband pulled me aside and explained that "Yid" is a derogatory term that is used to refer to Jews. I had unknowingly taken a picture of me in the hat to announce my name change and sent it to my parents (they were thrilled) and my mother in law...who is Jewish. I'm Black and outside of my husband's family/friends I don't know any people who are Jewish. And his family practices. My husband thinks it's hilarious. And I probably would too if I hadn't spent all that money getting my initials put on things.
TL;dr: My Jewish husband let me change my name but didn't inform me of the consequences. Now my initials spell out the Jewish version of the "N" word and my initials are everywhere.
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