Skip to main content

TIFU by misunderstanding "virgin" for 10 years

I'm a non-native English speaker, having learned English in college about 10 years ago. This is also where I met my longterm girlfriend. As our relationship progressed, she let me know that she was a virgin. I didn't think much of it, I had only kissed a girl before her. In my native language, we don't really have a well known term for "someone who has never had penetrative sex", but we have a term more commonly used which is more like "never been kissed". So that is what I thought virgin was.

Fast forward 10 years: A few nights ago, my girlfriend and I had a planned poker night with some friends which just turned into playing drinking games. One of the games we were playing had a truth or dare component if you drew a certain card. The questions were almost all truths, and trending towards the raunchier side, and one of the other people ended up asking my girlfriend the last time she gave a blowjob. "Two weeks ago" was her answer. Literally next round, my girlfriend gets truth or dare again, and it is my turn to ask. She picks truth, so going with the blowjob trend, I decided to do some self-aggrandizement and have her impress our friends. I ask her "Who has the biggest dick you've ever sucked?"

Her response: "Uhhh... I guess John C."(a friend from college, who I knew she briefly dated a year before me, but I assumed it was more platonic dating from her saying she was a virgin). My jaw dropped...I know she wouldn't cheat on me, but it just didn't make sense since I knew she was a virgin. I just said "Oh I thought it would be me". To which she said "no he was way bigger but yours is the prettiest dick". The real kicker: As everyone was leaving, I overheard one of the friends there who also knew John C from college talking to my girlfriend and said "I can't believe John C. has a big dick. Never would have guessed it"...and my girlfriend responded "well it was't big it is just average I think". So TIL my girlfriend thinks I have a small penis, and presumably her friend now knows too.

After the party, I asked her about it and we hashed out my misunderstanding of "virgin". I'm not really bothered by it, but I definitely wouldn't have brought up that question in front of friends if I wasn't sure that I was going to be the answer.

​

tl;dr: Thought I was clever asking previously virgin girlfriend about her biggest dick, turns out I'm not so clever and she thinks I'm small

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by forgetting my purse and attempting to get fuel

Not the craziest story but hey. I'm obligated to say this was a few months ago but I cringe every time I go past the petrol station . My petrol was getting low, not dangerously so but it said 27 miles left, (oftentimes it then suddenly drops to about 16 for example, and then 5 and then 0 very fast) I didnt have my purse on me as I just didn't need it... Picked my daughter up from school and then went on to collect my 2 stepdaughters from across town and then set off for home. En route the gauge went to 7 and then suddenly it was 1 so I stopped at the petrol station near our house. The petrol was on 0 as i pulled up to the pump and that's when I realised I had no money. I left the kids in the car at the pump and went in to talk to the cashier, it wasn't mega busy but there was a queue, I'd heard that they can help you if you can't pay for fuel. Like keeping something of yours as security. It was an elderly man and he basically refused to help. At this point i...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more