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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by using active warming massage oil instead of lube

Okay, so.. exactly that as the title says. I don't know why I thought it would be better than lube or something but my stupid horny brain thought it would be SO HOT! No pun intended.

I was laying on my back, legs spread and so excited. I squirted a little bit of the oil in my hand and just started rubbing it on my coochie.

Oh boy.

Anyway it was okay at first and got even more horny and I kept rubbing it, BUT!.. But šŸ˜­... it started to tingle and it got me thinking.. "Okay. Something's not right", and ALL OF A SUDDEN IT STARTED TO BURNNNNNNNN.

LIKE HOLY SHIT! I thought my coochie would fall off. I never in my life bolted to the bathroom so fast to clean the devil droll off.

Jesus Christ.

TL;DR Never use active warming massage oil on your privates. Stupid horny brain made me sit in pain as I write this sitting on an ice pack cause of this giant fuck up.

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