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TIFU by thinking it was just period cramps.

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TIFU by eating the hottest peppers I could find while having no sense of taste or smell due to COVID.

My FU happened 3 days ago and I’ve just now recovered enough to relive it.

I got COVID for the second time over the weekend and by Monday I had lost all sensation of taste and smell. At the peak of the pandemic I’d joked with my brother in law about running a hot pepper gauntlet if I ever lost my sense of taste and smell from COVID because I heard you could handle spicy things.

Mind you, I’ve always loved spicy things, but habaneros are usually the hottest I can go. So I started with those, because why not? And nothing. So I thought, let’s just jump right into one called the Death Spiral, which is hotter than a ghost pepper but not as hot as a Carolina Reaper.

This is the moment where I think I can pinpoint where my fuck up happened. Nothing. No taste, no spice. So I IMMEDIATELY threw two Carolina reaper peppers down followed by about 10-15 pieces of habaneros and death spiral peppers. About halfway through, my body started to retaliate. I was sweating. I was numb, I felt like I was going to die. But the burn wasn’t there. Until it was. It’s hard to describe.

Anyway, I suffered through the night with awful indigestion and took antacids to try to calm it. I was miserable.

I didn’t think it could get any worse, but then the moment came where I had to evacuate them. And my god, the pure fire and rage that my sphincter had was unbearable. It felt like satan himself was trying to claw his way out of my rectum. I swore I’d shat blood, but there was none. For hours afterwards I swear the fire feeling that came from my exit hatch could have made s’mores for the entire family. I’m still in pain days later.

TL;dr - lost taste and smell due to COVID, thought it was a good idea to eat the hottest peppers I could find. Paid the price when satan escaped from my ass. 0/10, would not recommend.

Edited typo.

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