Skip to main content

TIFU by eating the hottest peppers I could find while having no sense of taste or smell due to COVID.

My FU happened 3 days ago and I’ve just now recovered enough to relive it.

I got COVID for the second time over the weekend and by Monday I had lost all sensation of taste and smell. At the peak of the pandemic I’d joked with my brother in law about running a hot pepper gauntlet if I ever lost my sense of taste and smell from COVID because I heard you could handle spicy things.

Mind you, I’ve always loved spicy things, but habaneros are usually the hottest I can go. So I started with those, because why not? And nothing. So I thought, let’s just jump right into one called the Death Spiral, which is hotter than a ghost pepper but not as hot as a Carolina Reaper.

This is the moment where I think I can pinpoint where my fuck up happened. Nothing. No taste, no spice. So I IMMEDIATELY threw two Carolina reaper peppers down followed by about 10-15 pieces of habaneros and death spiral peppers. About halfway through, my body started to retaliate. I was sweating. I was numb, I felt like I was going to die. But the burn wasn’t there. Until it was. It’s hard to describe.

Anyway, I suffered through the night with awful indigestion and took antacids to try to calm it. I was miserable.

I didn’t think it could get any worse, but then the moment came where I had to evacuate them. And my god, the pure fire and rage that my sphincter had was unbearable. It felt like satan himself was trying to claw his way out of my rectum. I swore I’d shat blood, but there was none. For hours afterwards I swear the fire feeling that came from my exit hatch could have made s’mores for the entire family. I’m still in pain days later.

TL;dr - lost taste and smell due to COVID, thought it was a good idea to eat the hottest peppers I could find. Paid the price when satan escaped from my ass. 0/10, would not recommend.

Edited typo.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...
Post a Comment
Read more