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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by giving my girlfriend a humiliating nickname

This happened a couple of years ago when me and my partner were about 6 months into our relationship.

We were at a meal with friends and they asked if we had nicknames for each other. We didn't, so one of our friends said we should show how much we know about each other and give each other a name based on something we know they like.

My girlfriend then says she guesses that makes me her little bird, as I love birds. Cute, harmless, some nice wholesome laughs.

Now I knew my girlfriend liked butterflies, and there is a rare one she particularly loves so I thought I'd be specific and use that. She's also extremely shy and reserved so it's quite fitting in many ways.

So the fuck up and the accidental double entendre only occurred to me the exact moment after I declared to the table that if her nickname is something she loves then hers must be Swallowtail. Suffice to say she was mortified as the table erupted with childish laughter and I had to frantically explain what I meant.

It took some serious apologising to assure her I didn't mean to humiliate her and had spoken without thinking, but luckily she did eventually see the funny side. She still thinks I'm an idiot, and rightly so. Luckily, the nickname didn't stick.

Tldr; Gave my girlfriend a butterfly-based nickname that suggested she loves oral sex.

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