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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by wearing swim shorts with “supportive mesh” on a snorkeling trip

(This happened yesterday) My wife and I are on an anniversary vacation in Maui and we took a snorkeling trip on day 1. I’m not a fan of swim shorts with supportive mesh inside but my wife bought them for me and they look nice so that’s what I wore.

We took a tour in a rigid hull inflatable boat out to another island and spent the morning snorkeling. Myself and some other people on the trip ended up riding on the side of the boat, bouncing on the inflatable tube as the boat bounced over the waves.

At some point during the ride back to Maui my penis started burning. Like…really, really burning. The burning and stinging kept getting worse but there was no way to check on the situation since there was nowhere private on the boat, so I just endured the pain while wondering if I’d somehow gotten a jellyfish in my shorts.

Once we docked in Maui I ran to a honey bucket to find out what the heck was going on with my dong. To my horror I discovered that salt crystals had been left behind on the mesh after my shorts dried. All the bouncing up and down on the side of the boat had effectively sandpapered little Tony raw while literally rubbing salt into my wounds at the same time. My wang is now covered in painful raw spots and scabs.

TL;DR Salt crystals dried on the supportive mesh of my swim shorts and the action of bouncing on the side of the snorkeling boat as we bounced over the waves sandpapered my penis raw

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