TIFU: I shit my boss's pants

Looong time ago I was working at a relatively dirty job that involved both office work and work that made your clothes dirty, so everyone had work pants/uniforms that the company washed for us that we would change into if we needed to do the dirty work.

I was an intern at this company, and the company didn't provide the uniform cleaning services to interns, and I didn't want to get *my* clothes dirty all the time so I usually borrowed someone else's uniform when I had to do dirty work. I'd just throw them in the general wash bin at the end of my day. My boss did almost exclusively office work and happened to have the same waist size as me, so we agreed that I would just use his uniforms.

One day I get to work very hungover and found out that most of my day would be office work but would start with some dirty work. I, as usual, used my boss' pants while doing dirty work, then when I came back to the office just kept them on cause they didn't end up getting dirty, and I wasn't sure if I would have to go out again.

As the office work was boring, repetitive and time-consuming, it was common for me to down a few coffees whilst doing this work. As you've read the title of this post, you know where this is going.

My delicate hungover stomach decided it wasn't groving well with the three or four cups of coffee and I was feeling pretty uncomfortable and especially gassy. I lifted a cheek to release some of this suspected gas, and to my surprise, absolutely filled my drawers with diarrhea.

I immediately stood up as to not saturate the cloth chair I was sitting in, but it was too late. Disregarding the chair, I hurried over to the office bathroom, which is a single room for 3-4 people to share, and began doing damage control.

The underwear were a complete write-off. The fruit of the looms had provided almost no resistance from the shit wave and at most held back some of the chunks as the liquid shit filtered through with ease. There was no saving them.

The pants were completely soaked in diarrhea water and visibly blackened around the ass. It was obvious that someone shit themselves in these pants, and I could see brown stain marks already starting to show. Problem is, that each person had 10 sets of uniforms, 5 for the week, and 5 being cleaned on rotation. I couldn't just trash these pants as it wouldn't make sense that the office guy's pants disappeared other than me "losing" them, and the uniforms weren't cheap.

I cleaned my body off as best I could and wrapped the underwear in a football-sized wrapping of toilet paper and stuffed it deep into the garbage of the bathroom. Big guys worked in that office, and it would be no surprise that the garbage smelled bad.

I, unfortunately, had to commando back to my locker in the shit-soaked pants to grab my good clothes, where I then returned to the shitter and swapped pants after some additional shameful ass cleaning.

By the will of Allah, no one needed to use the washroom in the 15 or so minutes it took me to get into clean pants and hide the evidence of my sins. It was also about mid-afternoon when this happened so people were either busy at work or had already gone home, meaning there wasn't much traffic in the locker area.

I threw my bosses shit covered pants into the waste locker, which thankfully always smelled like shit based on the work we did. My internship ended at the company the next week, so I never was able to see if the pants were ruined after they got washed.

TL;DR: Trusted a coffee-fueled hangover fart in my boss's pants and went as well as you would expect.

Sorry for the vagueness with "dirty work", it is nothing sexual I just don't want to be discovered. Think construction/painting levels of dirty.