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(M35) Yesterday I left the city that I lived in for 12 years to move in with my girlfriend. I've known her for a little over 2 years and after 1.5 years of being together we finally moved into the same apartment yesterday.
The buildup and anticipation was quite intense for me emotionally, saying goodbye to my old place, leaving behind some friends and basically going from a familiar environment into the unknown. Be that as it may, I'm glad I get to live with my gf because she's absolutely wonderful and I really love her plus I have really close friends nearby which softened the blow of moving considerably...
Yesterday I moved all my stuff and it was absolutely exhausting. My buddies helped me load and unload my stuff and we managed to haul all of my belongings to the new place in one go. Of course, while loading and unloading, I felt obliged to lead by example, power through and help where I can, so I might have pushed myself too far with lifting and carrying. My friends were really great support, but I'd say I did the bulk of the lifting because after all it's my stuff...
Today the rat race continues: picking up furniture deliveries, doing chores on our respective old places etc.
I wake up and feel pretty good, but still drained. Obviously just in need of recovery from the taxing events from the day before, but also grateful for the new place and generally stoked that the moving part went rather smoothly, with some collateral damage here and there, which is to be expected.
So this morning I'm sitting in our new living room, trying to gather the energy to get on the train and make the trip to my old place where I have to do a bunch of chores before handing in my keys there tomorrow. I decided to call my GF to ask her how her morning was going (she wasn't at the new appartement yet) and to inform her that I had made sure the furniture had been delivered and was safe and sound in our new place.
Today is the deadline for her to hand in her keys to her old apartment and she also has to do a few chores there before the final inspection can take place. Needless to say she's also exhausted but has to power through today.
So as we're talking about the last part of our separate journeys and discussing the plan for our day I suggest we have lunch together and she rattles of a whole list of things she still has to do and that she has to make a few trips back and forth between the old apartment and the new and asks if I can help, so I (kinda jokingly) say that I'd help if she bought me lunch, which she didn't like at all.
I later tried to walk back my comment by saying that I just felt like she could have helped me out by taking the "logistics" part of getting food out of the way for me so I wouldn't have to worry about that and could help her, because I still had a whole days worth of cleaning and traveling to do myself.
And although part of that is true, I still have a lot of stuff to do myself and didn't really think it's practical to neglect my responsibilities in order to help her, I feel like I really gave her the feeling of being some sort of stranger when I asked her to buy me lunch.
After we got off the phone this morning she came by the new place and looked visibly angry and said she was quite frustrated with me and I apologized, but I feel a little disappointed in myself for being so focused and obsessed with money or maybe it's that I want to feel she appreciates me and I'm low-key asking her to show her appreciation for me by buying me lunch? In any case we landed on me going to do my own chores and she would do hers, but we haven't spoken since then and I feel a little anxious that this is off to a rough start :(
Over the last few weeks, as tensions were rising and sentiments between me and my gf were kinda tense around the whole moving thing, preparations and trying to organize everything, but also the stress of processing everything emotionally and how we felt about leaving our old lives behind, we would have the occasional squabble.
I feel that a lot of the criticism came from my side, as she is mostly not as emotionally expressive as I am and she is also more easy going. Whenever I discuss an issue she's quite open and reasonable and also quick to reflect on her own behavior, but today I feel i went a little too far...i guess we have to talk about our expectations when it comes to these kinds of things now :)
TLDR: Today my girlfriend asked me to help her out and I said "only if you buy me lunch first". She's pissed about the transactional nature of my response.
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