Skip to main content

TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

TIFU by not peeing before a bootycall

Sorry, this is my first post on TIFU so it's a bit long.

I was scrolling through my city's hookup subreddit and saw a post looking for a discreet hookup ASAP. I DM'd her and exchanged details like nationality, pics, etc.

My heart skip a beat when I saw her cause she was so obviously out of my league. Incredibly beautiful and the same nationality as mine, which is always a plus. I sent her my best photo, which seemed good enough for her because she sent me her location and phone number.

The location was about 40 mins and 45 km away from me. She said she wanted to hook up immediately cause her parents were out and might come back soon, so I scrambled to get to her place. I also had to buy condoms on the way (I don't keep any on me cause frankly this kind of shit never happens).

After spending 40 mins driving to her and basically emptying what was left of my tank, I get to her place. My bladder feels somewhat full but I didn't think much of it considering what was going on.

I meet her and she's even prettier IRL. She actually seemed like she was into me, which was great because it's been a while since I've felt like that.

Anyway, we get to her bedroom and get the niceties out of the way. I ask to use her restroom to wash my hands (COVID).

I think "maybe I should pee just to be safe". But Idk why, I didn't want her to know that I peed right before having sex with her cause I was afraid it might turn her of a bit? So, I didn't pee.

We're getting down to it and I'll spare any details as such except the following. She grabs me through my pants and I'm hard as a rock, I mean I'm making out with this incredibly hot girl and can't believe I'm here.

We get to the point of penetration and so I get the condom out and try to put it on. And that's where the fuck up happens. Jr just shrinks and goes limp, which has never happened before. Atleast not with someone else in the room as well.

I'm thinking jt could be because I had to pee and getting hard right now would just make me pee, so my body is resisting the urge to get hard to avoid peeing.

I'm trying to wake him up, but he's dead asleep. It's not looking good...

I'm not sure how to tell her that I need to pee real quick and then we can get back to it. So i ask her if maybe she could help

She starts her thing but nothing is happening. To her credit, she's very kind and understanding "it's totally alright this kind of thing happens sometimes. Are you okay? Do you need water?" etc.

At this point I just dejectedly say I'm sorry and blame it on some work related stress and ask her if we can do this another day? She says "yes definitely!"

At this point, I'm just ashamed and disappointed in myself and Jr. Never thought he would cockblock me this way.

Soon as I leave from her place, she blocks me on reddit and WhatsApp as well. Had a feeling this would happen but there ya go.

TLDR: didn't pee before getting laid, my dick shrunk like it was -5 C and couldn't get hard, I ask the girl to hmu for another day and she promptly blocks me on reddit and WhatsApp.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by walking into a glass door.

This just happened barely 30 minutes ago. Ended up with a nose bleed and some of the worst nose pain in my life. I can’t even wear glasses without the pressure hurting my nose. So, how did I make the same fuck up a bird would? I put on my sunglasses to leave an appointment and ended up walking nose first into a glass door. Shambling back in shock, I had no damn clue what I had just done. It shocked me so bad that I didn’t comprehend it until I felt liquid drip down my nose. I had turned into the world’s bloodiest leaking faucet. Someone witnessed this in their periphery and asked me if they needed to phone someone. In a panic I basically wailed for them not to, even though I would soon freak out and think I need an ambulance. Someone else came by and ended up giving me paper towels, which quickly looked like I had murdered a mouse with them. My nosebleed soon stopped but not before someone else checked on me. TLDR; fought a glass door and lost. I do not envy the janitorial staff. ...

TIFU by asking my boss why his cock got hard on my leg.

***not a fake post. I’m F 32, He was standing over one of my legs while I was sitting in front of him facing him (spinal adjustment) and he spread my knees with his leg, put his hand on my stomach and then there was a ton of sexual tension and I felt his cock grow into my leg and then start to fill with blood and then twitch on my leg. My boss has been leading me on for two years in subtle ways. Lots of waist pinching, close moments, and “were you good while I was away(s)?” Mostly breadcrumbing himself out to me while his wife (who I also work with) became increasingly hostile towards me. He is someone who has been a mentor to me for ten years. The two of them seem to be having marital problems on and off. The other month, while in close proximity, he started to get hard on my leg and moved when he noticed. A while later, I asked for an open conversation on the attraction between us and what to do about it. It has been distressing me and I had reached my limit. I figured since we’ve...

TIFU by going through my girlfriend’s old photos

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months or so and things have been up and down but I love her a lot and she loves me a lot. We’re both 20 and she’s had a lot more experience sexually than I have and this has always bothered me but besides that we have a pretty good relationship. We’ve talked about our pasts and she’s had some pretty bad experiences that caused her to kind of go off the rails up until we met. She’s all in on me and I’m all in on her and she’s expressed a lot of regret about her past choices and I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible but I’ve always had some insecurity regarding it. Well anyways last night I was on her laptop and saw her photos were linked to it and I stupidly clicked on it and started going through them. Don’t need anyone telling me that it was dumb and an invasion of privacy because I really realize that now and I will never be going through any of her stuff again. Anyways I ended up seeing a lot of shit. Clicked on a folder that...