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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by using the bathroom at the water park

Yesterday my family and I (19m) went to the water park. I typically stuck with the slides but I went into the pool at some point. Well at this pool there was a diving board and I decided to do a belly flop.

Here's where the fuck up begins. As I do the flop, I knock all the air out of me and accidentally swallow and inhale a bunch of highly chlorinated water and just knew it would get to me later.

30 minutes later as I was still in the pool, the feeling hit me. I HAVE to go. As I'm hightailing it to the closest bathroom I realized it was going to be one of those take all your clothes off, hunching over and praying for it to be over even if you were an atheist kind of movements. It was that kind of bad.

Anyways I run into the bathroom and sit down. Now here's the FU. Right before I release the kraken I yelled "KRAKATOA" and let out the wettest, most violent rip of ass juice. Unbeknownst to me, there are other people in the bathroom. After a long pause, which I can only assume was out of disbelief, I hear at least 4 women's voice say "what the fuck?" Turns out I accidentally ran into the women's room and destroyed it. I was so embarrassed that I didn't even wipe or flush. I just pulled up my bathing suit and ran out.

EDIT: Yes, I meant I ran into the men’s room. I didn’t just go back into the pool. I’m disgusting, not an animal.

TL;DR - I went to the water park and screamed while taking a poop in the wrong bathroom causing me to embarrass myself

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