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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by being blind and realizing I need LASIK

So this happened about two years ago. I'm an attorney, got a new job and went out to have drinks with a friend. I'm a lightweight and tell her I need to Uber home. She offers to wait. It's past midnight and there are no Ubers. Her place is down the street from the area we were barhopping and she says we can wait there.

Before I proceed, this you woman had been flirting with me hard for about a year at this point, but I never really pursued her. Until now.

I continued waiting for my Uber. And by that, I mean I actually canceled it and acted like the app still wasn't working or showing any available rides. I could tell she didn't want me to leave and we continued drinking. She sang me a song on her guitar (I have a weakness for singers/string instruments), and before you know it, she offers for me to stay the night.

Being the dunce/gentleman I am, I offer to take her couch. She replies "you could sleep on the couch, wherever you are comfortable", with a clear note of offense in her voice that I'd suggest such a thing. We agree to share her bed.

Here if the fuckup: even at this time, my confidence is a little low and I don't have a lot of experience. I'm worried about making the wrong move or making her uncomfortable. As I am in her bed, she goes to her walk-in closet to change. From 10-15 feet away all I can see is an outline of her figure in the closet. My prescription is -6 and -7. I can't even see my alarm clock in the morning.

I see the outline clearly moving though. Reaching up to grab something high and extending her waist to clearly accentuate her butt in my direction. Butt is that what I saw? It was just a blur of an outline and my horny educated guess. Then I saw the outline take off the T shirt and and appear to stretch and bend to grab something else high, again highlighting her figure.

From that night forth, I decided I needed Lasik Surgery. I couldn't even tell if this girl was giving me signals. Best $4,000 I've ever spent.

TLDR: Couldn't see a girl clearly trying to give me a show while undressing nearby because of my poor eyesight.

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