Skip to main content

TIFU by frequenting an independent escort

So this is going to be long and hopefully allowed here, using a throwaway for protection, and actually happened a way back.

Around 2 years ago, after the first pandemic wave, during the summer where restrictions were relaxed, I went to visit an escort. No one in my family or friend circle knows to this day. It is so out of character and I would never be able to explain/understand people would be unhappy with me. She was an independent girl listed also with a partner, who knew etc. I thought I tried to pick really carefully, avoiding trafficking/coercion.

I had only had 1 previous relationship, and had turned a corner in my life pre-covid which tipped everything upside down for most.

Feeling particularly lonely after that lockdown and rules still preventing large gatherings I figured it was sensible to just alleviate the loneliness through this method. Largely safe due to only 1-on-1 contact, symptom checking for safety.

Had the experience, it was fine even if I was a little nervous. No alarms, nothing wrong. In truth this is still a FU at this point, I’m quite emotionally sensitive if that’s the right way of putting it? My brain didn’t really like the idea of paying/not knowing the background of it.

I chalked it up to first time nerves, and around 8 weeks later rebooked to see her again. It rolls round to the appointment time, I message and no answer. I figure I’ll ring the doorbell and nothing. I leave before it looks too suspicious and chalk it up to bad luck.

Later in the day I get a message profusely apologising and explaining a family emergency, asking to rebook and saying sorry. I thinking with both heads, agree to rebook.

I show up it all goes fine, but for a bit of discolouration in one eye for her, which she puts down to a contact lens issue, and the emergency being an accident with one of her kids.

Something in my gut didn’t sit right, but I still went through with it anyway. This feels like the main FU. I sensed something was wrong but decided to let my naivety rule the rest of me. This is the last time I saw and will ever see a sex worker, I pretty much left it open in my mind but knew I wouldn’t be going back to anyone.

Fast forward a 6 months, maybe 9, I see a story in the news about a domestic abuse court case where a woman was forced into sex work by her partner. In the road where I had visited. And upon reading I knew it was the same girl.

This is the FU. I never wanted to allow this and my worst fears had come true. As I said before I feel I have always been sensitive/caring towards others, and I let myself get into this situation.

Now knowing what she must have been going through, with both her and her kids threatened, whilst being forced to sleep with strangers, I just can’t get rid of the guilt and it never seems to leave my mind.

Every so often she pops up on a social media site with a single mutual friend. The guilt is eating me up and I want to apologise but I know that is probably the worst thing I could do, as the last thing she would need is a reminder.

It’s almost an off my chest as much as a TIFU, or even a Life Pro Tip I guess, in that you should never see a sex worker, if you won’t be comfortable with the possibility of trafficking, abuse or coercion.

TL;DR Slept with a sex worker. Found after the fact she was abused/coerced by a partner and have felt guilt ever since.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...
Post a Comment
Read more