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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by not using incognito mode and having my porn exposed

I, 20m, am not an incognito mode user. In fact, I’ve doubled down so hard on my bad porn watching etiquette that I bookmark videos I enjoy.

It’s never really been a problem for me other than the looming worry that someday someone might need to use my laptop and all my secrets will be right there for the taking. Just about every time I enjoy some alone self-love time I think, I really need to compile a list of these links, delete the bookmarks, and get my shit together for good. Have I done that? Nope. But I’ve thought about it too many times to count. Sometimes I even clear out old videos I don’t watch anymore, but I’ve still been too lazy to completely change my habits.

I’m in my second year of college. It’s also my second year of sharing a dorm room with one of the coolest guys I’ve ever met. I came to college convinced I wasn’t going to have an experimentation phase. Next thing I know I’m rooming with a hot gay dude and watching men getting plowed online on the regular. My bookmarks? Demolished. Straight porn? Nowhere to be found. Sometimes dude will ask me to leave for a while so he can invite a friend over and my poor dick, you guys. I get sad-turned on by being sexiled.

All of that brings us to today. My roommate’s laptop failed on him at the worst possible time right at the beginning of the semester, so he asked to borrow mine to finish up some assignments this morning. I’ve got no idea if he was snooping or if it was just an unfortunate misclick, but one of porn videos I frequent starts openly playing. Volume at 75 at least. I haven’t even came out to this dude or anything. Sometimes I even lie and say I’m inviting a girl over to make him think I’m getting laid on the regular.

I bolted from the room. Turned on do not disturb mode on my phone. Have since been holed up in my friend’s apartment. I hope roommate enjoys his new laptop and all those porn recs, because I don’t think I can ever go back there again.

TL;DR: I bookmark porn I enjoy and don’t use incognito mode. Roommate who incited my gay panic uses my laptop and clicks on one of said bookmarks. I’m considering leaving the country.

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