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TIFU - By thinking my life was set

This happened for the last 16 years. Created a throwaway account so it doesn't get back to my ex wife since i dont really want anyone hurt, especially my daughter.

2 months ago, out of the fucking blue for me, my wife asked me for a divorced. Straight up.

Things weren't going so well since the pandemic, because it coincided with her back problems and surgery's (she is a nurse, an amazing one at that) 4 in total, and also a big weight gain (which I don't care, she's very curvy and beautiful, so it was never an issue for me).

So, the distance, the difference in standards (If i misplace something it was world war 3, but she leaves stuff everywhere it's fine), the straight treating me with aggression, i chucked at the hard times she was having with her health and her possible low self esteem.

Around the house I'd take care of tidying everything and i Am the resident cook (love cooking). I Also work a full time job that passed to part time job because the pay was similar and i could take care of the house and our daughter easily, but mostly because the pay was the same (work in sales, i'm good that that, lower objectives with the same amount of sales equals more money).

The fourth surgery has finally made her all better. And out of the blue she asks me for a divorce, tells me that I'm an excellent father and I'm welcome to stay at our place (we rent from my brother in law... well, ex brother in law) so we could both raise our daughter with her best care in mind, while each other living separate lives.

She also asks for full custody of my daughter or else we have to take her to a judge to choose (i agree because i dont want my daughter to go through such a thing). Next day she has the papers ready, i sign them.

My whole world and life gone in 1 day.

She starts going out at night almost every night for nearly a month and all good with me, no dramas, but every time I go out (asking if it's okay or if she had plans, basically giving her first choice) the next day there's arguing.

I end up finding out a post card that celebrates 1 month of "loving you" by someone deeply madly in love with her, and that date predates she asking for a divorce by 5 days.

Suddenly, the confusion and hurt of all the arguing that happens when I try to "live my separate" life as suggested, increases.

But I deal with it. I dont tell anyone, because the postcard is signed by a name that I recognize as her blood cousin and just going public with this would eventually in the end just hurt my daughter when she's old enough to understand. The guy is also married and with two kids.

The TIFU is pretty simple. I lived these 16 years for my family, first for her, and then for her and my daughter. I have no savings of my own, I did the groceries and payed some bills but since I get payed less I didn't really have a chance to save, or did i felt the need. She earns very well, she's very good at her job and the hours my part time gives her allows her to work in two other jobs, also her parents have money so if something happened to her or my daughter, I always felt secure. I don't have anything in my name and I will have to endure this for at least half a year until I have enough savings to allow me to rent my own place, I hope.

It's hard as fuck, my parents have no money and are far away, and while this shit hurts as hell, at least I'll endure knowing I'll enjoy being able to live full time with my daughter until i eventually have enough money to move.Also, last week, I cried for the first time since this happened (two months tomorrow) and I felt so unjustly treated, that I punched a door and broke a finger. It's healing good and i live in a country with welfare and free health care.

I'm not a english native speaker. Thanks for "listening" guys.

Edit: I've reverted to full time work after this happened.

TL:DR - Even if you are in a loving relationship, always have something of your own money to fall back into if the need arises.

​

Thanks for listening again, guys.

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