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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU When I Wrote A Love Letter To My Husband's Shaft

So for the last 16 years of our marriage, one of the ways I have shown love for my husband has been by randomly leaving notes declaring my love & admiration for him in his lunch bags. It's not an every day thing, but usually when inspiration hits sort of thing. Most of my notes have consisted of me telling him the ways I adore him, encouraging & praising him, doodles, jokes and the occasional safe for work spicy message.

Well I realized it's been a few months since I left him one & he's been graciously under a lot of stress at work lately, so what better way to bring a smile to his face than to write a love letter to his penis. We're jokesters at heart and it's no secret I love his 2nd brain, so I figure he'd get a laugh at it and be ready to go when he came home.

Now, I really got creative and not only wrote a poem describing the magnificence of the shape, size, texture & overall beauty of his cock in poem but below that I wrote the nastiest shit a wife could do with it. No vanilla sex here, folks. So...realizing how nasty this got, I had a gut feeling to hide the note under his sandwich just on mere chance someone at work would see it.

He always calls me on his lunch break and I'm so excited to hear his reaction to what I thought was my best piece of erotica yet. Happiness soon turns to horror when I find out that my husband got called to problem solve a project at work as soon as he sat down to eat, so he grabbed his sandwich and rushed out of his department without thoroughly looking at his lunch bag.

Appearantly the note fell while he quickly grabbed his sandwich without him seeing it. My husband works in an engineering department made up of 12 other men, one of which found the note. My husband returns to all of them standing around the memo board, laughing and making a commotion. My once private letter is now pinned on display for everyone to see. Not realizing my hubby had left, they had asked around for someone to claim the absolute filth I wrote and since no one did, they assumed a client, janitor, anyone else but someone in the department was connected to it. My husband goes to read it and realizes halfway through omg my wife wrote this.

So of course they immediately took it down, all had a good laugh and cheered my husband on for his sexual prowess. My husband found the whole thing hilarious and of course was flattered. But I see these people pretty regularly and will now forever be mortified that they know what filth I am capable of. Might as well share my embarrassment with the world at this point and laugh 🤷🏻‍♀️

TLDR - wrote a nasty letter for my husband to find in his lunch bag at work, his entire department saw it instead.

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