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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by causing my best friend to have a mental breakdown

I made a post in r/AmItheAsshole when this first happened but it got taken down so idk if you can still see it. But basically I've (m 21) been friends with a dude (m 19) for 5 years. We'll call this dude A for privacy reasons. Me and A have been close since the day we first met. He's always been there for me and I've always been there for him. We spent the majority of our time together and we've taken showers together (in a totally platonic way, girls do it all the time so shut up lmao).

A is schizophrenic and has never been on meds. Because of this he can get a little... interesting. He's told me the most fucked up shit during arguments. Everything from "the world would be better without you" to "i wanna kill your family in front of you", shit's crazy. It's not his fault but it's hard not to let it get to you. I had contemplated leaving for a while but then we'd have good days again and I'd always end up changing my mind.

The straw that broke the camel's back was Friday night. We were chilling and I was trying to sleep since I was tired from working a lot that week. A was still up watching some movie. I'm not exactly sure what happened but to put it simply, he tried to fucking bite my ear. I tried to ask him why he tried to do that but the only answers I got were "I thought you were asleep" and "I'm sorry". I asked him if he liked me thinking this could be some weird romantic/sexual thing (I never knew him to be gay and I'm straight but I really did not know) and he got all defensive, asked me how anyone could ever like me.

I went home and didn't speak to him for days. He kept texting me apologizing and telling me not to tell our other friends since he'd be "ashamed forever", never did explain why he was trying to bite my ear in my sleep. Yesterday night was when I finally called everything off. He was asking me what he could do to make it up to me and I kept on telling him "You don't need to do nothing A, just stop worrying about it". Didn't work. He starts going on and on about how he's scared to lose me and that he would "never stop crying" if he did. By the 12th message I just responded "Okay well I'm done so bye". And that was the truth, I really am done. I'm tired of being insulted and put down all the time and him trying to bite me with 0 explanation was the final straw.

Cut to today. Turns out that might've been the worst thing I could've possibly done. We have literally SO MANY mutual friends, everyone in our group talks about everyone. Our friends are telling me he's having a complete breakdown over this. He's been crying all day. He's telling them how he wants to die. He shaved his fucking eyebrows off. This is just what I've heard, who knows what else is going on.

I have no idea what to do. I can't bring myself to talk to him but at the same time I feel like I have to. I've been crying nonstop freaking out about him. I'm terrified because in the past he'd always tell me about how if I weren't in his life he would probably kill himself and how I was the only thing holding him together. I feel fucking evil. I sh'd earlier for the first time in a while because I feel horrible for causing all this shit. If he ends up killing himself I'm gonna have to go too, there's no way I'm gonna be able to live with that. All I ever wanted to do was seperate myself from the many situations of our friendship. I never ever wanted things to be this way.

TL;DR: I left my friend because he tried to bite my ear while I was trying to sleep and now he's having a mental breakdown

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