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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by flashing my landlady

I live alone in a granny flat which is attached to the house of a family of four. The mother/ wife of the house is probably in her late 50’s, very sweet and thoughtful, and extremely kind and polite. She often pops over with a plate of freshly baked muffins, or a meal for me. She is also obsessed with my dog, and will come through my side gate to take him into her yard to play, when she knows I’m on night shifts, which I am this week. Today I haven’t been able to sleep much. Her husband is using the ride on mower all day, so my dog is a bit barky, and I was getting frustrated at being unable to sleep. I thought masturbating might relax me off to sleep, so had a lovely time with myself. Afterwards I got up to pee, and walked naked into my bathroom, which has a door that opens straight onto the gate. A door that I had left open earlier this morning for some fresh air. And there was my lovely sweet neighbour with her hand outstretched ready to open the gate to come and get my dog. We both looked at each other and screamed. She absolutely saw everything I own and then some, the poor woman. She scurried away apologising profusely and now I’m lying here wider awake than ever, thinking that might be the end of our relaxed relationship.

TL;DR buzzed the bean, then my landlady saw me immediately afterwards as I walked through my house naked. She won’t be popping in with cake anymore.

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