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TIFU by eating chocolate covered pretzels

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TIFU by loving and trusting a woman for 3 years.

I've had relationship issues when I was young (girl left me for my friend, then the exact same thing happened with a different girl and different friend a few years later) but around 3 years ago I got back in touch with a girl I met in grade 3, and everything was great, she took my virginity and we began dating shortly after. We went through a lot in 3 years, and my parents lost their house and started living with my sibling so I moved in with her and her family.

I've had trust issues my whole life as well as anxiety and depression, it took a lot for me but I was finally able to trust her and open up. But two days ago she didn't come home from a night out with friends I got scared and worried and was up all night trying to contact her, the next morning she said she was at a hotel with her friends and told me this weeks ago. Then last night when I was on break at work she messaged me and said she cheated, so I went home, packed my bags and am now staying on my sister's couch with no way to work.

We talked last night and she said we just started feeling like roommates and she wanted to talk to me but couldn't, so cheated instead?

Now I'm terrified, worried and alone, it took so much for me to trust someone outside of my family and when I finally felt safe and comfortable the one person I thought I could trust betrayed me and hurt me in the worst way possible, now I have no where to live but couch surfing between friends and family, I have no way to work, and no where to put all my stuff, meanwhile she's fine living a happy life with her family.

TL ; DR have trust issues, anxiety, and depression, and finally was in a trusting relationship with an old friend I grew up with, and lived with, who cheated on me and told me through a text while I was at work, now I'm living on my sister's couch depressed and terrified.

Edit I was terrified to post this thinking it would just be people telling me how I could have done better, but maybe that's just my anxiety talking, thank you everyone for everything, I'm still really nervous but gotta start continuing, I'm at my sister's place for now and my family has room to store my stuff, unfortunately I still have to communicate with her to get my shit back and the rent money I was paying her dad to stay there, I've found a way to work, definitely inconvenient but I'll make it work. Thank you everyone

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