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TIFU by eating chocolate covered pretzels

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TIFU by trying to call out sick: a fever dream saga.

So I’ve been hit with the awful flu that’s going around, it just hit me all at once about 24 hours ago. High fever, shivering like crazy, worst headache and sore throat of my life. Did a Covid test but it came back negative, so I figured I should just pound cold medicine and coconut water and get some sleep to try and get in to work today.

I set an alarm for 7AM, just in case I didn’t feel well enough to work so I could call my company staffing line and give them time to find someone else to cover for me.

7AM rolls around, I feel like death, I’m sweating buckets and I’m completely freezing. So I call the staffing hotline half awake and mumble feverishly about not being able to make my shift.

The guy on the other end of the phone sounded really angry, and I couldn’t quite make out what he was saying? So I just said “Okay thank you bye bye.” hung up and went back to sleep.

About…. 8 hours later I wake up again, and instantly I’m slightly haunted by the weird phone call. He’s usually such a nice guy, I don’t know why he’d be so mad at me for calling out sick. We have lots of casual employees who cover sick days, it’s not a big deal. So I chalk it up to a fever dream. He’s probably not mad at all, I’m probably just delirious.

About 30 minutes ago, I open up my phone to call my Ma and complain about dying from the flu. At which point in time I notice that I actually made 4 outgoing calls to the staffing office this morning between 5:48-7AM. And I can only remember one of them.

This leads me to believe that I managed to heroically and deliriously call out of work 4 times in a row. Dude probably thought I was completely blackout drunk, which is very unfair because I was just high on cold medicine and feverish. I’m never going to live this down. FML.

TLDR; Got wicked stoned on cough medicine and in a fever induced delirium managed to call my boss 4 separate times asking for the day off.

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