Skip to main content

TIFU by eating pizza for lunch

Obligatory didnt happen today blah blah blah, happened a few days ago but I still cant handle the embarrassment and im using a throwaway.

TLDR at the bottom. Honestly, I never thought I would ever have a TIFU worthy submission here, but here we go.

I (23F) have just arrived in my boyfriend’s (29M) country after 2 months apart (we’re in an LDR). On my second day here, we decided to have lunch nearby the grocery store we had just shopped at, and we had a cute little pizza date!

After spending the day together, and having missed eachother for the past 2 months, we got down and dirty in bed. Side note: we had just purchased a vibrator, some condoms, and some lube earlier in the day.

My bf has a huge thing for making me cum, so he fingers me a lot. But recently we started getting into anal... Just to get me used to it he’ll finger my ass a bit, but that night I was really feeling it. I hadn’t used a vibrator in MONTHS so this semi new sensation was intense for me. Now mix that with the pleasure I was feeling from behind? That led to me cumming pretty soon after.

How is this a TIFU? Well, remember that pizza I ate for lunch earlier? That cheese pizza? Im lactose intolerant. So when I came hard, not only did I squirt for the first time, I also squirted out of my ass 😃 I didnt even realise I did until the smell hit me like 1 min later.

Yall. Im so embarrassed. Also my boyfriend called me Amber Turd afterwards so there’s that.

TLDR: My lactose intolerant ass ate cheese pizza for lunch and came so hard I shit on my boyfriends fingers

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...
Post a Comment
Read more