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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by eating pizza for lunch

Obligatory didnt happen today blah blah blah, happened a few days ago but I still cant handle the embarrassment and im using a throwaway.

TLDR at the bottom. Honestly, I never thought I would ever have a TIFU worthy submission here, but here we go.

I (23F) have just arrived in my boyfriend’s (29M) country after 2 months apart (we’re in an LDR). On my second day here, we decided to have lunch nearby the grocery store we had just shopped at, and we had a cute little pizza date!

After spending the day together, and having missed eachother for the past 2 months, we got down and dirty in bed. Side note: we had just purchased a vibrator, some condoms, and some lube earlier in the day.

My bf has a huge thing for making me cum, so he fingers me a lot. But recently we started getting into anal... Just to get me used to it he’ll finger my ass a bit, but that night I was really feeling it. I hadn’t used a vibrator in MONTHS so this semi new sensation was intense for me. Now mix that with the pleasure I was feeling from behind? That led to me cumming pretty soon after.

How is this a TIFU? Well, remember that pizza I ate for lunch earlier? That cheese pizza? Im lactose intolerant. So when I came hard, not only did I squirt for the first time, I also squirted out of my ass šŸ˜ƒ I didnt even realise I did until the smell hit me like 1 min later.

Yall. Im so embarrassed. Also my boyfriend called me Amber Turd afterwards so there’s that.

TLDR: My lactose intolerant ass ate cheese pizza for lunch and came so hard I shit on my boyfriends fingers

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