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TIFU by getting an ultrasound done

How is that you may ask? I’m a freshman in high school that is currently 32 weeks pregnant and I wanted an abortion but my family would not let me / sign off so I decided to go the adoption route and I already have a perfect family picked for him.

I went to the my OBGYN today (because I’m having Braxton hicks and I have pre eclampsia ) so my pregnancy has never been fun or easy, so I try my best to detach from it and focus on negatives when it comes to me changing my mind and wanting to keep my baby . I’ve been dodging viewing my fetus on the ultrasound, but today something came over me and I wanted to just see. Like idk how to explain it but like I knew I was always pregnant but, it just felt more real today.. like there is is actually a whole person in there. Now the Majority of the day I been feeling very sad and not going to lie, but I been having doubts which I shouldn’t because I’m not way ready for a child. I’ve been trying so hard to detach and I’m really nervous of when I give birth that I hand him to his family, as heartless as it may sound I don’t want to hold him or see him, because I’m scared of my reaction to it. No one in my life is supporting me putting him up for adoption…not the father, not my parents . So that was my major fuck up of the day. Wish I never even bothered looking at the ultrasound, then I wouldn’t be feeling this way.. TL;DR

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