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This was fuckupped nine years ago.
I was 14m, friend 'Cy' was 16m.
I thought it would be a brilliant idea to get some shrooms (stole them from a diff friend) and take them together. Cy wasn't sure but I persuaded him it would be good.
It was great! We laughed a lot and went for a walk around town blah blah blah and then Cy got spooked I guess? and he ran into the road and got hit by a car.
Don't do drugs kids.
You know when you're a kid and the adults are always warning you about these things but you KNOW they're just saying that to control you? You know they're exaggerating or even straight up lying. Like it can't be THAT dangerous. It's like when people say you have to make your own mistakes, because sometimes you can't learn from other people's. Or maybe I was just a fucking idiot.
He was in the hospital for a long time. I don't actually know much about it because his dad told me to STAY THE HELL AWAY from his son and for the first time in my life I did what I was told. I didn't try to see Cy, I didn't message him or even send him a get well card. This was also a fuckup as it turns out.
Probably pretty obvious to you reading this but at the time I figured Cy must hate me. I definitely hated me. But no. He wanted to see me and he wanted to talk to me and be able to like... process our trauma together. I don't know if that would have worked out as neatly as it sounds but I think I should have been there to try.
I found this out two days ago when I (23m) logged into my old socials and found his messages over the years asking me to reach out. We've barely stopped talking from two days ago til now. We had a lot of catching up. He says he's okay. I guess he is? He seems very well adjusted or whatever. He jokes that he's part cyborg.
He keeps telling me not to feel bad and that it wasn't my fault but I don't know. I think it was my fault and I should feel like shit. But that's making it about me, isn't it? I'm trying to make it about him this time.
tl;dr: Was a very dumb 14yo.
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