Skip to main content

TIFU by eating chocolate covered pretzels

Post a Comment

TIFU by taking laxatives before sex

This actually happened about 7 months ago but it still haunts me till this day. I (17 female) was with my (18 male) boyfriend. We are long distance so he was over at my house for about a month. before i get into the story i would like to add that We have been together since we were 15 and are each other’s first everything. first relationship, first kiss, first time..all of that cute stuff so we are unimaginably close. We are so close no bodily issue is a taboo conversation. we literally sit together in the bathroom there’s nothing he hasn’t experienced. like it feels like we share a body we are that close. Anyways i had struggled with anorexia for about a year at that point and that ruined my bowl system completely. I hadn’t pooped in about a week and a half and was in severe pain so he recommended i take laxatives. I took the highest dose the bottle recommended which was my first mistake. i hadn’t taken that brand of laxatives before so i didn’t know how powerful they were. That morning i was exploding. like the worst i’ve ever been. like so bad i was in tears. finally the storm calmed down by the end of the day so i thought i was fine. By that night things get a little heated between us and one thing leads to another and we are about to do it. he puts me in doggy style and starts laughing hysterically. i ignore it at first but it keeps going so i get nervous and am like what?! he puts me out of the position and says “before i say this just know i think you are the most beautiful girl in the world and i love you.” and i’m like oh got what is it.. he finally says the dreaded words “there’s shit in ur butt” i RUN to the bathroom crying cause i’m so embarrassed and he chases after me but i lock the door and investigate and sure enough he’s right. there is a little shit in my butt. but not a lot just a little smudge. it made no sense though because i showerd multiple times and wiped so so so much. i think what happened is i trusted a fart too much. After cleaning up i come out of the bathroom still a crying mess and he holds me and reassured me that i’m not gross and that i’m still beautiful and he’s still sexually attracted to me. i cry for another 15 minutes in his arms and tell him how thankful i am to have someone who’s so understanding of natural bodily issues. i also explained it wasn’t a hygiene issue it was simply trusting a fart on a high dose of laxatives. after i calm down we still end up doing it and all is fine. Now we look back and laugh about it! That experience is one of the many reasons on why i want to marry this man. he literally saw shit in my ass and still said i was the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. he’s genuinely the other half of my soul. i’m beyond grateful for him. TL;DR my boyfriend found a dingle berry in my ass but still loves me.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...
Post a Comment
Read more