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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by complaining about the music when a nurse/tech was rooting around in my bladder

So like a year ago, I went to the toilet one night to discover I was pissing blood. Dismayed (to say the fucking LEAST), I went to the urologist and he's like yeah you need a cystoscopy. We did the thing.ffHe found a tumor in my bladder about the size of a matchstick head. We cut it out. Tested. Wasn't cancerous. Something called a PUNLMP. I live to fight another day.

What a relief, right? Well, I still have to get the goddamn procedure every three months to check to make sure the tumor thing doesn't grow back. It's called a cystoscopy. Anybody who is not familiar with cystoscopies: It's an outpatient thing where they jam a camera up your uretha.

Let's just say... it's not comfortable.

Well this morning, I'm there. The nurse or tech, whatever she's called, is up in there looking around and for some reason she decides to turns on the radio. I don't know why she does it but she does. I like to think I'm a good sport generally so I don't say much but for some reason during this 15-min procedure every song that comes on is just fucking RIDICULOUS.

I think the first song was "Shake Your Groove Thang" — which obviously I'm thinking of my own 'THANG' during ¸— followed by "Cuts like a Knife" by Bryan Adams and "If I Could Turn Back Time" by Cher. Then "Cold as Ice" by Foreigner. No tumor this time. She yanks the thing out. I'm relieved.

I leave.

I'm like... I can't be the only person on earth who doesn't like this. Oh well. Life goes on.

Then, I get a survey emailed to me from the urology company asking about my experience.

I think, okay this is probably the forum for this sort of thing.

I leave *very* light-hearted advice on this survey — "It's a kinda weird to have Cher singing while you're getting a camera jammed up your urethra" or something like that.

And not two minutes later just like ten minutes ago, the tech's BOSS calls me to apologize on her behalf and say things were "handled."

I INSIST that she did a great job and probably wasn't even considering it and that it wasn't her fault and what the hell did it mean things were handled? It wasn't that big of a deal, etc.

The boss tells me they PUT HER ON INDEFINITE LEAVE OF ABSENCE for this. And I'm like "what the fuck lady? That isn't fair. Is this something that's happened before? Surely I can't be the only reason."

"I'm not at liberty to say that," the boss says. And then I guess because I copped an attitude with her, she gets off the phone.

I feel terrible. I'm angry. My penis hurts. Also I'm surely part of a masterclass on what the fuck not to do as urology clinic. GAHHHHHHHH!

TL;DR: Got a camera jammed up my cock while listening to classic rock and because I lightly complained, an otherwise nice person was presumably fired for it.

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