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TIFU by making my daughter high for three days

My wife and I occasionally partake in THC edibles, but we’re responsible about it. At least I thought we were. We had a stash of 195-mg cookies and we decided to make sure they looked entirely unappealing to our kids. We wrapped them in several layers of foil and in a plastic bag and tucked them in that unspeakable, shameful part of the freezer that is home to things like freezer burned meat and frozen dog treats. We thought there was no way our children would find them, much less ingest them.

We underestimated our daughter’s sweet tooth.

Our daughter was 13 and naive even for a 13-year-old. She thought that marijuana is a dangerous addictive drug that is injected. She would have had absolutely no clue that her parents would be occasional consumers and would have had no idea that drugs can look and smell and taste like cookies.

So… one Wednesday morning, I got an unexpected call at about 9:00 am. It was from the school nurse saying my daughter was having an anxiety attack or something. Expecting that my teen was just wanting to go home from school, I asked to talk to my daughter. She picked up the phone and clumsily described, “I don’t know what’s happening but I feel like I’m here, and then I’m not here, and then time is happening but I’m not feeling the time, and I was on the bus and then not on the bus, and I’m tired but not tired and I don’t know what’s going on.”

I didn’t immediately realize what had happened, but my wife rushed out the door to get her.

In the car on the way home, my daughter observed that everything looked like it was in stop motion, that her body felt like jelly, and that she felt like she was going to fall off the planet and also never feel normal again. My wife asked her what she’d had for breakfast, posing it as concern about food poisoning or low blood sugar, and this 80-pound teenager described finding cookies in the freezer because she didn’t see anything she wanted in the pantry. She said she only ate one because it didn’t taste great. But “only” one is 195 milligrams. I take one-eighth of these cookies and get knocked on my ass for hours.

Fuck.

We were not left with trying to figure out what to do with our outrageously stoned child. She would have panicked if we told her she’d had a “drug” and there’s nothing the emergency room could have done. I checked her heart rate and oxygen saturation and hydration level several times and she was medically completely stable— just really, really high.

We somehow agreed that we’d explain to our daughter that migraines can make everything look and feel strange, and can happen without headaches, and can sometimes last for days but never forever. We reassured her she’d feel strange for a while but was going to be okay. She found this explanation reasonable. She was high for three days and we sent a note to the school about her absence due to migraine.

This was two years ago now and she still thinks it was a migraine.

TL; DR- Left weed cookies in the freezer and my 13-year-old got high as fuck for three days and thought it was a migraine.

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