TIFU by indulging in my coworker and letting him get too comfortable.

This was actually yesterday.

About a month ago, I started a new job working overnight. Under this particular company, there a very few employees in the building during an overnight shift (max 3). This includes my position and security.

The first month has been great. I really like my coworkers and they help make my shift feel like it’s gone by faster. I have this particular security coworker (let’s call him Carlos) that works with me on the weekends I’m especially friendly with because I sort of see him as a cool father figure. He likes to give me advice, we have good conversation, and his presence is overall nice. I do want to emphasize, however, that I see our relationship as entirely amicable. I wouldn’t consider him my friend because at the end of the day, we are in a professional environment.

Yesterday, I got to my job and Carlos is already standing at my desk waiting for me. I didn’t see this as anything out of the ordinary because he usually comes up a little later and stands in that same spot while we chat about life and what-not. We start up a conversation as usual and everything is peachy. Fast forward a few hours later and we’re standing outside having a quick smoke break.

He begins to tell me a story about how this friend of his was having problems with her marriage because her husband wanted to have anal sex with her, but she said no and now she thinks he’s cheating. I think at this point he was trying to gauge how I would respond to him bringing up a sexual topic, but instead of shutting that down as I should have, I engaged. This was the beginning of the fuck up.

Fast forward again and we’re back inside. He then tells me (out of the fucking blue might I add since we had long since moved on from his friend and her marriage problems) that there are 2 things I should know about working overnight:

1. Eventually, my body will force me to sleep when I least expect it.

2. I am going to get horny.

I didn’t really know how to respond to this information he had given me, so like the dumbass I am, I kept asking him questions about what he meant about the horny part. I even said “that doesn’t sound like a problem to me”. I think this was the encouragement he needed to continue talking to me about anything and everything sexual. He then started asking me very intimate and inappropriate questions and here they are, in no particular order:

1. What is something you would refuse to do during sex?

2. What is your favorite sex position?

3. What haven’t you done during sex?

4. Have you tried anal?

At this point, I started realizing how inappropriate this was getting and became uncomfortable, but I truly did not know how to handle the situation. So I answered his questions. He then started telling me about his experiences with women and how he has always been able to please them because he always asks them beforehand what they like or don’t like. Clearly, he was trying to insinuate something given his previous line of questioning. But I just played dumb and gave a very indifferent response. He even mentioned to me there was an office that employees go to have sex in, which happened to be about 15 feet away from us. Again, I gave an indifferent response. I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable and tried to focus on what I was watching on my laptop. And then the worst part came.

He started showing me clips of porn on his phone. One of a woman masturbating, another of a guy getting kicked in his nuts repeatedly, and one of a woman laughing at a guy’s small penis. I really just froze and watched. I know I should have done something that let him know I was not okay with this. But I really didn’t know how to handle the absurdity of this situation. I kept thinking how the hell did we get to this? I felt disgusted. He then said something that I think knocked some sense into me and made me realize I have to stop this.

“From what I can tell, you seem like a woman that isn’t very stimulated when it comes to breasts, but I think you really like getting stimulated down there. Am I right?”

And that’s when I told him he was getting too comfortable and I was not okay with what he was asking me. He apologized for going too far and after a few minutes, he went back down to his work station. I felt so relieved and so grossed the fuck out. This man was old enough to be my fucking grandfather. And now I’m dreading seeing him in the weekend that’s coming up. I know I should go to HR or something, but I really don’t want to cause trouble since I’m so new. But that’s what I get for being too nice and accommodating.

TL;DR - I engaged with my coworker in a topic about sex and had to endure a conversation about sex the rest of my shift.