Skip to main content

TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

Post a Comment

TIFU by leaving my pocket p out.

So I had recently bought a pocket pussy cause well, summer in a small town and break up with my ex. Well, I used it, cleaned it, and then left for a 2 week field deployment. When I got back, I realized I had left it in my living room. I live alone, no big. Well, I had been back for 3 days, but not home, so my bags were still on the floor and house a mess. I decided it was about time I get to finishing up a project on my parents farm I've been doing with my buddy. I call him up and tell him to meet me at my place, he does, we finish the project, and come back to my place. Now, I make sure to feed people who do work on my farm, usually my mother will cook cause she is AWESOME at it and LOVES doing it, but it was too spur of the moment. We got some wings and were eating at my place. He actually sees the thing and thinks it's his ( we are that close and he's spent some months over here cause divorce). I correct him and we eat. Somehow, we start talking about it, I pick it up to explain how it's so small. He instantly goes "OH GOD!" And starts throwing up in my sink. When I picked it up, it started leaking onto my pants without me noticing. So yeah TIFU.

TL:DR I left my forgotten pocket p**** and picked it up in front of my friend, causing it to leak fluids, and he threw up as a reaction.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by walking into a glass door.

This just happened barely 30 minutes ago. Ended up with a nose bleed and some of the worst nose pain in my life. I can’t even wear glasses without the pressure hurting my nose. So, how did I make the same fuck up a bird would? I put on my sunglasses to leave an appointment and ended up walking nose first into a glass door. Shambling back in shock, I had no damn clue what I had just done. It shocked me so bad that I didn’t comprehend it until I felt liquid drip down my nose. I had turned into the world’s bloodiest leaking faucet. Someone witnessed this in their periphery and asked me if they needed to phone someone. In a panic I basically wailed for them not to, even though I would soon freak out and think I need an ambulance. Someone else came by and ended up giving me paper towels, which quickly looked like I had murdered a mouse with them. My nosebleed soon stopped but not before someone else checked on me. TLDR; fought a glass door and lost. I do not envy the janitorial staff. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by asking my boss why his cock got hard on my leg.

***not a fake post. I’m F 32, He was standing over one of my legs while I was sitting in front of him facing him (spinal adjustment) and he spread my knees with his leg, put his hand on my stomach and then there was a ton of sexual tension and I felt his cock grow into my leg and then start to fill with blood and then twitch on my leg. My boss has been leading me on for two years in subtle ways. Lots of waist pinching, close moments, and “were you good while I was away(s)?” Mostly breadcrumbing himself out to me while his wife (who I also work with) became increasingly hostile towards me. He is someone who has been a mentor to me for ten years. The two of them seem to be having marital problems on and off. The other month, while in close proximity, he started to get hard on my leg and moved when he noticed. A while later, I asked for an open conversation on the attraction between us and what to do about it. It has been distressing me and I had reached my limit. I figured since we’ve...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by going through my girlfriend’s old photos

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months or so and things have been up and down but I love her a lot and she loves me a lot. We’re both 20 and she’s had a lot more experience sexually than I have and this has always bothered me but besides that we have a pretty good relationship. We’ve talked about our pasts and she’s had some pretty bad experiences that caused her to kind of go off the rails up until we met. She’s all in on me and I’m all in on her and she’s expressed a lot of regret about her past choices and I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible but I’ve always had some insecurity regarding it. Well anyways last night I was on her laptop and saw her photos were linked to it and I stupidly clicked on it and started going through them. Don’t need anyone telling me that it was dumb and an invasion of privacy because I really realize that now and I will never be going through any of her stuff again. Anyways I ended up seeing a lot of shit. Clicked on a folder that...
Post a Comment
Read more