TIFU by using Poison Oak to get back at my mom.

Obligatory, this did not happen today, but well over 20 years ago when I was maybe 11 or 12 years old. On mobile so yeah spelling & formatting.

At the time of this TIFU, I was still a shy and anxious pre-teen who never overtly acted out. Follow whatever mom and dad said and keep my head down to survive the rules.

My "subtle covert" acting out took on a whole new level one weekend. I played soccer and during the Saturday tournament my mom told me something I had do some something and I didn't like it. What it was I don't recall anymore, I just remember being angry and let down. So my brilliant mind came up with a plan to spoil whatever it was if the opportunity presented itself.

Now, this soccer tournament was at an old complex that had neat trails & creeks through the adjacent woods that players and other kids would enjoy between matches. Between one of my games I was playing tag in the woods and stumbled across a massive patch of poison oak.

I knew what it was from the many times my parents showed it to me on various camping trips. I knew it wouldn't bother me, because I was "immune" like my mother and it only made my skin red, not itchy. Oh how naive I was. So so naive.

My little angry brain when "bingo!" I can fake being sick to get out of whatever my mother wanted me to do. And so, I began to hatch my little plan.

I didn't just walk around in the poison oak patch. Noooo, that wasn't enough. I picked the leaves and rubbed myself down. Face, arms, legs, ears.. basically whatever wasn't covered by the clothes I was wearing. Crunched up the leaves and squashed them behind my knees. I bathed myself in the stuff for probably 20 minutes, giggling at my genius idea. I even went back later in the day to make sure I didn't miss any spots on my legs & arms.

It was not genius. Within three days I had the most itchy, intense and painful rash covering the majority of my body. My left eye was swollen shut. It hurt to move and I couldn't bend my elbows or knees. I shocked the doctors and basically bathed in creams for the next week. I didn't get hospitalized but did have to see my pediatrician 3 days in a row. Did I get out of whatever it was my mother wanted me to do? I don't even know.

What I do remember is that to this day my parents still think that the complex mowed poison oak growing on the fields. They filed a complaint and I single handedly shut down the complex for 2 weeks so they could treat everything.

Did I cry when I heard my games got cancelled. Yes, yes I did. Am I "immune" to poison oak? Nope, I just permanently made it worse for myself.

Lesson? Dont bathe in poison oak to make your mom mad.

TL;DR - Mom wanted me to do something I didn't want too. While at my soccer tournament I found some poison oak by chance, basically bathed in it and made myself super sick to get out of whatever mom wanted. Shut down the complex too.