TIFU by blowing up the one toilet upstairs

Well, it is as the title reads. I F19 have been incredibly bloated over the last few days, so my first assumption because I haven’t taken a pooped in a while was constipation. So rather than just drinking more water and letting it pass on it’s own. You know let the colon do colon work. I decided to work up the most awful most vile concoction of about 3 things to get things moving way down where the sun don’t shine. I started this journey by going to Kroger and buying a yellow dragonfruit, the dietary fiber in the seeds is supposed to make you shit your brains out, so I bought one and ate the whole thing. Next, I took 3 laxatives. Don’t ask where I got that bright idea from. And finally I drank enough water to make 3 fully grown men piss themselves. After all that all I had to do was wait. Fast forward 2 hours. I blew that porcelain throne up. I mean it was bad. I went to war and barely came out. After a long (25 minutes) battle, I won. I came out of the bathroom to find my three younger brothers all wondering why I was in there so long. And why in the world I used the only bathroom upstairs to go to battle. All very valid concerns. But I don’t care. The point is that I am no longer bloated. And it worked. And while I may have blown up our only toilet upstairs. There’s still one downstairs that is perfectly fine.

TL;DR: I was super constipated and we only have one bathroom upstairs. I blew it up.